Second Chances
by SarahCullen17
Summary: Five years after Edward leaves, lovesick Bella is diagnosed with leukemia. The equally lovesick Dr. Edward Cullen tries to secretly work with Carlisle to save her. Will Bella find out? Will second chances at life and love be offered and fulfilled?
1. News

This is just an experiment of mine…if people read and review, I will keep writing! Let me know what you think!

**DISCLAIMER:** To state the obvious, I do _not_ own _Twilight_ or anything _Twilight_-related, except for my t-shirts and the posters that wallpaper my room. Everything else belongs to the genius Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter One: "News" Bella's POV

I stared out the window, aware of the cold, gray drizzle outside, but not really noticing it. Six years in Washington had quenched my distaste for the rain. Dark, angry clouds were no longer an annoyance, but rather a normal part of life. I didn't really care anymore…actually, I didn't really care about anything anymore.

"Isabella Swan?" the frazzled receptionist called. After a few blank seconds, I realized she was calling _my_ name. I stood up a little too quickly, tripping over my purse. The elderly woman sitting next to me frowned and scowled. "Excuse me," I murmured.

The nurse waiting at the door smiled at me and led me to the vitals station. I followed her instructions silently--stand on the scale, put this thermometer under your tongue, breathe deeply, stick your arm out for the blood pressure cuff. Routine, basic instructions…I was quickly sitting alone on a paper-covered examination table in an examination room. I stared at a poster of the food pyramid, my mind and emotions numb again.

Twenty minutes later, a young man in a white lab coat entered the room. "Isabella M. Swan?" he asked.

"Yes," I verified. "I am."

"It's nice to meet you," he said, extending his hand. "I'm Dr. Ferguson. My, your hands are cold."

Painful memories stabbed my heart. "No, they're not," I replied slowly and faintly. _I'm only human…running at a vital temperature of 98.6...definitely not anything special or supernatural…that dream was stripped from me a long time ago._

"Right," he said, puckering his brow. He was probably wondering why a zombie was in his office. I had to fight a bitter laugh as the thought entered my head. _A zombie…not my preferred mythical creature._

I realized I was staring at his face blankly and awkwardly and I quickly ducked my head. "I'm sorry for my exhaustion," I murmured. "I'm kind of in a hurry, so we'll get down to business. I think I may be anemic. My dad wanted me to have a blood test…"

"What are your symptoms?" he asked.

"I'm so tired and weak," I began. "All I want to do is rest, and I can never rest enough. I bruise really easily…and my blood is thin."

"Do you have any bruises right now?"

I silently pulled up the legs of my jeans.

"Oh my," he breathed. "One, two…" He began to whisper as he counted the angry purple splotches. Finally, he ended with "Fourteen…that's not good. Miss Swan, is this abuse of any kind?"

I shook my head. "Definitely not. I don't live with anyone or…da-date anyone." _Or leave my apartment unless I have to…_

"What happened there?" He pointed to a Band-Aid on my knee.

"I accidentally cut myself when I was shaving my legs yesterday."

"Do you mind if I look?"

"Go ahead."

He snapped on a pair of gloves and carefully started to pull the Band-Aid off my skin.

"I didn't realize it was so bloody," I told him, embarrassed.

He peeled the entire bandage off. The sticky side was solid red, and my knee was stained bright red.

"A little nick like that shouldn't bleed so much," he told me. "I'm definitely ordering some tests."

It wasn't long before a phlebotomist came and drew blood. My stomach twisted in knots when she exposed the long needle. Needles had always been a fear of mine, but they were even more intimidating now. They were a reminder of a happier time six years ago, when he had gently kissed my scarred hand as the IV was forced into my skin…

_No, Bella. Don't. Focus on the ceiling tiles--at least they offer some protection and at least they are here. He doesn't and he isn't._

I found pictures in the ceiling tiles' specks until Dr. Ferguson returned forty-five minutes later.

"The tests came in," he said quietly. "I'm afraid I have some bad news…"


	2. Vision

Second chapter is here! Be sure to review.

DISCLAIMER: Though I wish Edward was mine, I do not own any of these characters or _Twilight_. Stephenie Meyer does, and rightfully so.

Chapter Two: "Vision" Alice's POV

"Sunshine is a thumping bore," Emmett complained as he tackled the couch, stretching out on it.

"I concur," Jasper sighed. "I thought London was supposed to be really rainy."

The front door opened and familiar brisk footsteps sounded through the house. "We have our days," Carlisle said as he entered the living room. "Forks also had sunshine, you know."

Esme took Carlisle's hand and pulled him down on the wide, cushy chair. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"Mmm…" She smiled at him. "How was work?"

He shrugged. "Nothing really exciting, actually. Routine operations."

"Where's Edward?" Her forehead creased with worry.

Carlisle sighed. "He's doing another shift. I warned him that he has to pretend to be tired, but he told me he will know when people notice. Which is true, I guess, but still…"

"He's trying to keep his mind off of her," I said softly. "That's the whole reason behind the PhD and the medical license."

Esme sighed sadly and looked down at their intertwined hands. "Leaving her was never the right thing to do…it's been five years, and he isn't happy at all."

"It's because he knows she's not happy," I explained. "I still have visions of her. Our bond was too strong for my visions to just abandon her."

"She…hasn't moved on?" Esme asked timidly.

"Not at all," I frowned. "She's still single and still hanging onto him. She's finishing up her teaching degree. Though _she_ doesn't know it yet, _I_ happen to know that she will be a high school English teacher this coming school year."

"She'll be a wonderful teacher," Esme murmured. "I have to admit, I miss her a lot."

"I do, too," I said meekly.

"So do I," Emmett nodded. "She was the cause of a lot of fun."

Rosalie smacked Emmett in the head.

"What?" he whined, returning his askew ball cap to its usual position--the bill on the side of his head.

"I don't miss _it_ at all," Rosalie sneered. "Do you know how many times she almost exposed us? First, the van incident, when Edward fucking lifted the van off of her in front of the entire student body of Forks High School. And then the time she ran off to go ballet dancing with that…monster who could have killed us."

Emmett rolled his eyes along with everybody else. "Rose, there was never any danger. Quit PMS-ing."

Rosalie hit Emmett again. "That's a low blow, Emmett McCarty Cullen. I _wish_ I could PMS, because maybe then you wouldn't be the person I love the most. Anyways, then there was the Jasper incident…"

Jasper flinched. I quickly took his hands and kissed him. "It's okay," I whispered to him. "Just ignore her."

"That's enough, Rosalie," Carlisle said firmly. "Bella made your brother very happy. You should be grateful. She was practically a Cullen…practically my daughter."

"Ditto," Esme nodded seriously. "Let's not be immature and petty and unkind."

"Now," Carlisle said softly. "I hear his car coming down the road. Think…other thoughts."

Jasper managed to turn my thoughts from the taboo topic. I was happy as a clam when my bronze-haired brother walked through the door.

"Son," Carlisle greeted him. "I thought you were working."

Edward shrugged his shoulders as he accepted Esme's hug. "Dr. Randall made me go home. He told me a twenty-six hour workday is unacceptable. Hi, Esme." He bent down to kiss our mother's cheek.

"How was your very long workday, doctor?" Esme asked him.

"Fine, I guess. Nothing very exciting. I think I'm going to go take a--"

His voice trailed off and he quickly turned to Rosalie, a look of sheer hatred in his eyes. Emmett recognized that vengeful look and protectively stood up when Edward started to growl. "What's the big idea?" Em asked protectively.

"How fucking dare you," Edward snapped at Rosalie, ignoring Emmett. "You don't know anything! You don't understand how much I love her, and you don't understand why the hell I let her go. All you know is that you're _glad_ that she's gone. You're _thrilled_. She's out of your perfect little aesthetic life. Your wish came true! Have you ever noticed your happiness always comes before everyone else's, Rosalie Lillian Hale? While you've been throwing a happy little five-year going away party for…her…in your mind, I've been _miserable_. I would have taken my own life by now if such a thing were possible. And you have the _audacity_ to taunt me!"

"Son," Carlisle interrupted, placing a hand on his quivering shoulder. "You need to calm down."

"Jasper, stay out of my head," Edward said slowly through gritted teeth.

"Maybe you should take your own advice," Rosalie snapped.

"That is enough!" Esme leapt up and threw her hands in the air.

I shook my head at Jasper. "Leave his emotions alone," I whispered. "Let him say what he needs to say."

Edward, unable to ever disrespect Esme, clamped a hand over his mouth and let out a tearless sob. "You guys can't think about her," he choked, and I realized that he had already picked up on our conversation about Bella. "I can't…I can't bear it."

"Edward, darling," Esme said softly. "You can't live like this anymore."

He crumpled onto the loveseat and buried his face in his hands. "I have no other choice. My feelings for her aren't going to just evaporate."

"Darling, Alice said that Bel--she hasn't moved on," Esme murmured as she sat down next to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "You can go back to her."

"That's not an option," he said quickly. But the longing in his voice was so obvious, Rosalie scowled.

"Yes, it is," Carlisle said. "It's been five years. A lot can change in five years. Maybe she has matured and has moved on from the desire to be immortal. And we have _all_ gotten even stronger in our bloodlust…"

"No," Edward said firmly. "I will not."

"Edward, I--" Esme paused before adding meekly, "I want my daughter back."

Edward sighed and dropped his head. "Don't do that, Mom," he begged, using the name he only used when he especially loved her. "Please don't do that…"

"But you know what's best," Esme sighed, giving up. She was far too unable to hurt him anymore.

"I can't kill her," Edward whispered. "She _will _die of human causes."

And then the white room disappeared. I was faintly aware of Jasper squeezing my hand. "Alice? What do you see?"

"_The tests came in," said the doctor quietly. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."_

_Bella's already-sad face didn't change at all. "I'm anemic?"_

"_No, it's something more serious," the unfamiliar doctor said gravely._

_Bella sat quietly for a few seconds. "What is it?"_

"_It's…" He sighed. "You have leukemia. A cancer of the blood."_

My vision was instantly interrupted by a ferocious snarling. I blinked, and the vision disappeared. I saw Edward snap the arm off the loveseat and he quickly fell in front of me. "Alice! Try to see more!"

"What?" Carlisle, Esme, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett all asked. "What is it?"

"I'm trying, Edward," I said anxiously. "She's going to a hospital…"

"What hospital?" he demanded through gritted teeth. "Damn unclear vision. This ordinary room is telling me _nothing_."

"I know…I only see the room…and a cup of pills…"

"That's chemotherapy," he sighed fearfully. "Oh, God…wait. I see a plaque on the wall."

"Yes…it says Saint Francis Memorial Hospital," I nodded.

"That's in Seattle," Carlisle said. "What kind of cancer does…Bella have?"

Edward's face crumpled, and he said nothing.

"Leukemia," I told Carlisle, staring at Bella's corpse-like self curled up on the small hospital bed.

"Edward, we can save her," Carlisle said.

I blinked, and I saw Edward look up at our father with a look of fearful hope--and hardly any comprehension--on his face. "How?" he asked faintly.

"Come on, Dr. Cullen," Carlisle said patiently. "What type of cancer is leukemia?"

"Blood cancer," Edward said softly, not understanding. "Oh. _Ohh. _Yes." He quickly pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Who are you calling?" Esme asked.

"The airport. We have a flight to catch."


	3. Dying

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own _Twilight_ or any of these characters. Captain Obvious strikes again.

**Author's Note: **First, this is a very basic understanding of leukemia. Bear with me until I do more research. Lastly, I need reviews! Let me know what you're thinking and even what you want to happen!

Chapter Three: "Dying" Bella's POV

"So, this is my new room," I mumbled to myself as I looked around the plain hospital room. "Very…charming."

Charlie chuckled as he entered my room with my bag of personal items. "Charming, eh? Let's just don't plan on an extended stay."

"I completely agree," I sighed. "Thanks for helping me, Dad."

His brown eyes softened, and I saw his sadness and worry. "No problem, Bells. It's my job to take care of you, even if you are an old college lady."

The hole in my chest throbbed. "I'm not that old…" Before I could stop it, the excruciatingly lovely face of my seventeen-year-old love flashed before my eyes. My throat grew thick and I sat down on the hospital bed, breathing evenly.

"Bella? Are you okay?" Charlie asked, a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Yeah, Dad…" I took a deep breath. "I'm fine…just…tired."

"Is that…normal?" he asked timidly. "You haven't even started chemotherapy yet."

"Yeah, apparently it is."

"Have you called Renee yet?"

I sighed. "Not yet. I'm going to find out more before I tell her."

"That's probably a good idea."

"Miss Swan?" a voice from the doorway interrupted us. We looked to see a Japanese woman in a lab coat holding a clipboard and a folder. "I'm Dr. Gupta," she introduced herself. "I'm an oncologist--a doctor specializing in cancer. I'll be one of the doctors working on your case."

I introduced myself and then my dad.

"I just need to go over a few things with you," she said as she entered my room. She dragged a rolling chair into the room and sat down. "First, I'd like to begin by saying how sorry I am about your diagnosis. However, there really is hope. Technology and medications are more sophisticated now than ever. We have a really good chance at remission."

Charlie held up a finger, interrupting her. "I'm sorry, but what exactly does remission entail?"

The pretty doctor smiled patiently. "The elimination of the cancerous cells."

Charlie and I nodded. "Keep going," I said.

Dr. Gupta dropped her things on the floor and leaned toward us. I liked her right away. She was comfortable and personable. And I like how she said "we" instead of "you". I could tell that she really wanted to help me fight this disease. She acted like she _cared_. She reminded me of another doctor--a father figure--I still adored…

_Stop, Bella. Stay in the present only._ I tried to focus on her words.

"As you know, leukemia is a cancer of the blood," she began. "Basically the red bone marrow that makes your blood cells goes out of whack…" She paused and smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry, I also work with pediatric oncology. Anyway, the red bone marrow starts producing cancerous cells. We're not sure yet why this happens. Some studies say it could be link to diet. Some say genes. Other say simple malfunctions in organs such as the heart or brain."

I rolled my eyes. _Malfunctioning brain. Story of my life. Or perhaps a broken heart could do it…_

"We just don't know," Dr. Gupta continued. "But the good news is that we know what to do to fight back. Today's chemotherapy is working wonders."

"Wait," Charlie cut in. "Isn't chemotherapy kinda…miserable?"

Dr. Gupta pursed her lips and nodded. "It does have awful side effects. Food and nutrition are most affected. Your tastes might change, Bella, and you might have certain cravings. It's sort of like pregnancy. However, it will be extremely hard to keep food and fluids down, and it will be even harder to have a healthy appetite. As a result, you will probably lose weight and you will be even more tired. You will be weak and you might experience sharp headaches." She stopped, and her voice grew very soft. "You will lose your hair."

I already knew this, of course. At first I felt sad, and I started twirling a strand of my brown hair around my finger. And then the apathy set in. _It's not like you have anyone to run his fingers through it…or kiss it when you're worried…or bury his face in it to breathe in your scent…_

"Bella, are you alright?" Dr. Gupta interrupted my musings.

I stared at the bed and nodded. "Yes."

"Dr. Gupta, what would happen if we decided to skip the chemo?" Charlie asked.

I looked to see the doctor's face turn grave. "Mr. Swan, I wouldn't advise that. Without treatment she has almost zero chance of survival."

Finally…_dying_ was brought up.

I blankly stared at her face. "And if I do accept treatment?"

"Judging by the lab reports, fifty-fifty."

I was only afraid of how unafraid I was of her words…of dying.


	4. Plan

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own _Twilight_. If I did, I would not be the starving artist I am.

Chapter Four: "Plan" Edward's POV

"God, we shouldn't have left our private jet in the US," I groaned, resisting the urge to snap the TV screen off the seat in front of me.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Carlisle sighed. "I didn't think we would need it."

"Why couldn't we fly first class?" Rosalie whined.

"Why couldn't you stay home?" Alice snapped. "I swear, I don't even know why you came."

"This was the first flight to Seattle, Rosalie," Esme explained patiently. "First class was already booked up."

Rosalie sighed and flopped back against the seat. My fingernails scraped the plastic armrest, leaving scratches.

"_Edward_," Carlisle thought. "_Calm down, son._"

I sighed and craved a private place to go crazy in.

Now that the floodgates had been opened, her face dominated every thought of mine. So unbelievably beautiful…alabaster skin flushed with a self-conscious blush… I had never understood why she was so self-conscious. She easily had the most beautiful face and body I had ever seen (or dreamed of, as was the case concerning the latter). Chocolate brown eyes that always weakened me…the full curve of her delicious, sweet lips…all framed by that fragrant, thick mahogany hair…

_Cancer._

_No hair left. No natural curves in her body._

My brain was amazed at how grief-stricken I was over these two facts. Maybe it was because I was lust-crazed. It had been five years since I had touched or tasted her, but I had refused to think about it, knowing that I would only feel anguish. Once again my life was spent abstaining from any kind of physical contact, and I couldn't even fantasize about her. But now the shallow part of me dominated everything else, and I longed for a beautiful, healthy Bella to greet me, with thick, full hair I could tangle my fingers in; and gentle curves I could wrap my arms around…

_But what if she no longer exists?_

The chills shot down my spine. Of course I had considered this…but now that I was so willing to unblock her from my mind and even _fantasize_ about her…this realization crippled me.

I thought of the time I had met the Volturi with Carlisle, and the sadistic Jane had taken a liking to me. Flirtatiously she had used her gift on me, only to find that I definitely was not a sadomasochist. That sort of mental torture that overtook every physical nerve didn't even compare to this pain.

"Edward," Alice muttered gently. "Let go of the armrests."

I looked down and saw that I had cracked the armrests now. Esme stared at me with concern and whispered, "It's alright, dear. We'll pay to have them replaced."

I covered myself with the blanket the flight attendant had given me, covering up the damage. My thoughts turned back to my own personal hell.

Bella. Weak and defenseless.

Bella. Only aided by medicine--chemotherapy--that would make her wish for death.

Bella. So small and lovely and helpless…

I leaned forward to look around the edge of the seat in front of me. "Alice," I said, interrupting a kiss with Jasper. "Any updates?"

She closed her eyes, and I heard her thoughts. Nothing new. "_Edward,_" she thought. "_You know it's going to be a blank vision until you make up your mind about how we're going to handle this._"

"I know," I whispered before leaning back. "Carlisle," I said. "We have to talk."

"I know," he said quietly. "We need to formulate a plan."

"B--Bella can't see me," I whispered. "If she sees me and wants me back, I won't be able to resist staying with her…"

"How do you feel about me taking a place on the staff?" Carlisle asked me.

"Oh, Carlisle, you can't just show up and get a job," Esme reminded him.

"No, but it will be difficult to sneak around the hospital and perform tests and do things my way." He sighed. "One of the oncologists can take a sick leave…"

Emmett chuckled from across the aisle. "I can cripple one temporarily."

Esme sighed. "Whatever is necessary."

Jasper turned around and looked at Carlisle and Esme. "Or I could make him quit his job."

"You won't need to," Alice suddenly interrupted, her voice happy again as she realized that her precognition wasn't entirely blank. "The hospital is already looking for another attending physician. A certain Dr. Pilkington just transferred to San Francisco."

"Stroke of luck," I murmured.

"No, it's a stroke of God," Carlisle disagreed. "Jasper, perhaps you could…sway the hospital to accept my application."

"Of course. That will be easy."

Alice cleared her throat and turned around in her seat to face me. "So if Carlisle can see Bella, can I see Bella?"

"No," I said. "Clean break, remember? As soon as Bella is well again, Carlisle is coming back to London."

Alice pouted and sighed. "I don't agree with you. And I don't understand how Carlisle can make the outcome any different."

"It's quite simple," Carlisle whispered. "I have worked in oncology, and I have never lost a patient who had a cancer of the blood. I can actually smell the cancer cells, and taste them if I have to. I use my senses of smell and taste to figure out what kind of chemotherapy one needs--and what kinds of combinations of medications. It could be a rather speedy process for Bella."

"I see," Alice nodded. "I can't see anything about her fate yet, but I can see where that would work."

"So no brute force?" Emmett interrupted, disappointed.

"Not right now, Emmett," Carlisle laughed. "But I won't rule it out."

Emmett pumped his fist in the air.

"Edward," Carlisle whispered, serious again. "You really don't plan on seeing her? You're going to have enough self-control to be miles away from her, and not see her?"

"No," I whispered. "I don't. I will see her. But just when she sleeps." _Just like I did before our hearts or lips even met…_

"_Why?_" Alice asked incredulously.

"Because I have the best chance of saving her," I stated simply. "Who do you think has the best memory of what her blood usually smells…and tastes like?" As soon as I said it, my throat ripped into thirst-driven flames.

Esme nodded. "That's a good point. Plus you are a doctor." She smiled proudly, looking so much like a devoted mother that I couldn't help but to smile at her. "Thanks, Mom," I whispered. "You have so much faith in me…"

"Of course I do," she whispered back, kissing my cheek.

My mood instantly dropped again. "But I can't let her see me."

Alice shook her head. "Edward, are you so blind to your own pain? Are you _numb_?"

Her words felt like acid dripping on open wounds. "Of course not," I hissed. "I'm just--"

"Protecting her, right?" Alice asked, taking the words out of my mouth. "I have news for you. Once you save her yet again, and then _Carlisle_ disappears, she is going to wish for the cancer to come back and instantly kill her."

"No!" I said a little loudly. "'I. Will. Do. It. My. Way."

Alice glared at me and thought, "_We'll see._"

I fought the urge to growl at her. She stared into my eyes for just a few, long seconds, and then she turned around. The only thing I noticed was that she was now mentally reciting the Emancipation Proclamation in Finnish.

"Thank you, Alice," I whispered gratefully to my favorite sister. She understood that I didn't need to hear her contradicting thoughts right now. Esme squeezed my hand, and my family left me to once again go crazy in my head.


	5. Dream

Chapter Five: "Dream" Bella's POV

I moaned as I crawled slowly across the cold bathroom floor, using the generic toilet paper to wipe up the clear acid I had just thrown up. I had definitely had my share of the flu and random stomach bugs, but this was the worst nausea I had ever experienced. I threw the soiled paper into the toilet, and flushed it again.

Feeling too weak to stand up, I crawled into my hospital room and to my bed. The hospital bed felt like a mountain I would have to climb. I definitely couldn't do that right now. I pulled the blanket off the bed and sprawled out across the floor, feeling cold and hot and sweaty and inside-out. Surely my intestines and digestive organs were hanging out of my body by now, or floating somewhere in the hospital's plumbing. Surely I was dying.

I groaned as sharp pains stabbed my forehead. I turned over and pressed my forehead to the cold floor, disrupting my stomach in the process. I quickly grabbed the little plastic bowl off the bedside table and dry-heaved into it. My brain knew I had nothing left to come back up, but my stomach was fooled. I gagged for a few minutes, making my ribs and my throat ache along with my head.

"Ms. Swan?" a male voice asked. Quick footsteps in nurses' shoes ran to my bedside, where I laid helplessly in the floor. "Oh, the chemo," the kind voice said knowingly. Gentle but firm hands picked me up and placed me in the bed.

Shivering, I glanced at the man's face. He was of Hispanic heritage, but sounded very American. Dark, kind eyes stared back at me. "I'm Finny," he said quietly. "I'm a nurse on the night shift. I take it this is your first round of chemotherapy?"

I nodded, my teeth chattering. "Yeah, how did you know?"

"I haven't seen you here before. I'm going to go get you another blanket. I'll be back in thirty seconds."

Sure enough, he was. "Here you go," he told me, tucking the blanket around me. "The first round is always like this. You'll get used to it."

"I'm not s-s-sure that's a good thing," I murmured tiredly.

He laughed quietly. "It gets better. Are you feeling dehydrated at all?"

"I'm not sure what I'm feeling," I replied honestly. "Except for nearly dead."

"I brought you some ice chips. You need to suck on some, just to put some fluids in you."

"Okay…" I said absentmindedly, unable to sit up. "My head hurts so badly…"

"It's normal," he told me. "Trust me. I don't think you can keep down any pain reliever…perhaps your doctor will order an IV tomorrow."

I shuddered. "Please, no IV…"

He chuckled. "Here, take some of these." A paper cup touched my mouth, and I felt cold wetness on my already-cracked lips. I let the ice fall into my mouth, and I felt cold again.

"Can I get you anything else?" he asked me.

"A new stomach?" I asked weakly. "Mine feels like it's been charred to bits…"

He laughed again. "Keep that sense of humor. You're going to need it." A cold washcloth touched my forehead, and I wondered where it came from. But before I could ask, sleep overtook my senses, and I welcomed it warmly…until the tanned face of my nightmares became the most prominent thought in my head.

I never really thought of Jacob much, but I dreamed about him occasionally. Our friendship had abruptly ended that fateful night we went to the movies with Mike Newton. After that night, Jacob joined Sam Uley's clique and had forgotten all about the girl he once called his best friend. Yes, I missed him a lot at first, but that longing eventually evaporated. It was nothing compared to the longing I felt for someone else.

But dreams like this always brought Jacob's sort-of beautiful face into my head.

"_Bella!" he exclaimed as he hovered over me. I glanced around my surroundings and recognized them immediately--this was the tree I had blacked out under when Edward had left me._

"_Jacob?" I asked. "You're so…old."_

_He laughed heartily. "You're crazy. You're still worried about my age, even though you're gushing blood?"_

_Confused, I looked down at my hands. Crimson blood flowed from the veins at my wrists, gushing over my clothes and the leaves._

"_Bells, we need to get you to a hospital."_

_And then a velvet voice interrupted us._

"_Jacob, I'll take it from here," Edward's voice murmured. Dizzily, I sat up, only to fall back again._

"_Where is he?" I gasped desperately._

"_Here, Bella," Edward said, appearing behind Jacob. Jacob quickly looked at him and ran away._

"_Edward?" I asked him. "You're…here."_

"_Of course I am, my love," he whispered._

"_Edward…" I gaped at him, at a loss for words. "Oh, wait! Hold your breath, Edward. I'm bleeding. Take me to Carlisle so he can fix me again."_

_He smiled sadly and squatted next to me, taking my hand. I was amazed at the way he so effortlessly ignored the warm, gushing blood that still flowed out of my veins. "My Bella…" he whispered, crouching to kiss my forehead._

"_Let's go to Carlisle," I told him. "So you won't be uncomfortable."_

_He grinned his most beautiful crooked smile. "You're worried about me? Oh, ye of little faith. Bella, I can save you."_

_For some reason, I believed him. "Okay."_

"_Do you trust me?" he asked._

"_Of course," I murmured._

"_Good." He softly kissed my palm, smearing blood on his hard lips. His eyes stayed the same--soft honey, without any hint of thirst._

"_You're stronger, Edward," I noted._

_He laughed. "Not in all ways." He quickly pressed his bloody lips to my mouth. I relished the delicious kiss, not even bothered by the metallic taste of the blood that smeared across my face._

_I felt weak. "Save me, Edward," I said, a little panicky now. There was literally a river of blood._

"_Of course, my love." He put his mouth to my hand, kissing it again. I closed my eyes, deliriously happy at the touch of his lips. And then I felt something I had barely ever felt before--his cold tongue, lapping up the blood off my hands._

_I watched in panic as his tongue cleaned my hands. I didn't fight, though--I couldn't bear to take this pleasure away from him. He smiled at me before putting his mouth to my gushing wrist and sucking it._

"_Edward," I said. "I can't bleed anymore…think of Charlie…"_

_He nodded. "You're right. I'll fix it."_

_And his cold, hard teeth tore against my flesh and eagerly crunched down on my hand._


	6. Carlisle

**Author's Note: **Thank you to the very few people who have reviewed my story. And to the rest of you…follow their example! I would love to hear what you guys are thinking.

This nice, long chapter sets things in motion…it's going to start picking up now!!

**DISCLAIMER: **I do not own _Twilight_ or anything else the genius Stephenie Meyer has dreamed up. I know…I'm disappointed, too.

Chapter Six: "Carlisle" Bella's POV

I opened my eyes, instantly regretting it. The harsh fluorescent lights burned my eyes, causing green and purple blurs to cover my pupils. I groaned and rubbed my eyes weakly.

"Bella?" my father's voice whispered. "Bella, sweetie, are you okay?"

I managed to look at his worried face. "Yeah, Dad. I'm just…stiff," I said as I stretched.

"You slept for a long time," he said. "So…no nightmares last night?"

I racked my brain, searching my dreams. I triumphantly realized there were no dreams to account for last night. "Nope," I said.

"First time in three nights," he said, relieved but exhausted. "Do you feel like eating? They brought you an egg-and-cheese-biscuit."

"I don't feel like eating _that_," I said. "I'll wait for lunch."

"I figured as much. The chemo doesn't seem to like that particular food."

"It doesn't," I agreed.

"Your mom called," he said quietly. "She's worried, but she can't leave her job. Apparently she's already had the flu and can't miss anymore days at school."

"Did you tell her it's fine?" I asked him.

"Yes." He paused, and then sighed. "Speaking of work…I have to work today. Deputy Mark is on vacation and they need me."

_God forbid the dangerous town of Forks has more than two cops off-duty._ "It's fine, Dad. You should work. Get back into your routine."

"That's not going to happen, Bells. I'll be here tomorrow."

"Okay, Dad. Have fun today. Eat a doughnut for me."

He laughed and patted his belly. "Okay. You eat _anything_ for me. I'll call and check on you."

After Charlie left, I laid back and turned the TV on. I was engaged in an episode of _Jeopardy _for thirty minutes until Ashley, my morning nurse, entered my room.

"Hey, girl," she said in a thick Southern accent. "How are you feeling today?"

"Like crap," I admitted. "I'm hungry but I don't think I can eat."

She nodded understandingly. "I know, honey. Dr. Gupta has ordered an IV for you so you can get some nutrients."

"Great," I moaned. "Needles."

She smiled encouragingly. "If it makes you feel better, you have a new doctor who is _hot_. He wants to meet all the new patients, so he said he'll administer the IV himself."

"Maybe you can win him over," I smiled at her. I really didn't want to think about any hot guys--especially any hot _doctors_--but Ashley was so likeable. "I'm not interested in dating right now."

"A pretty gal like yourself? I can't imagine why. Can I get you anything?"

"Nah," I said. "I'm fine for now."

"Okay. Holler if you need anything." She patted my hand and left.

As soon as my room was quiet again, a very familiar voice from the hall shattered my world.

"Thank you, Dr. Gupta," the clear, calm, and smooth voice said pleasantly. "I'll take over Miss Swan's case, if you don't mind."

_Impossible. _I started to panic as I reviewed the side effects of chemotherapy. _Are hallucinations normal? This is definitely a hallucination._

Silence followed, but I could hear the soft, brisk, familiar footsteps walking down the hall. _Definitely a hallucination,_ I told myself as I started to hyperventilate._I wouldn't really be able to hear and distinguish his footsteps from the others…unless the hall was empty…_

"Oh, excuse me," the haunting voice said. I noticed wheels were following the footsteps. _Please God,_ I prayed. _Don't do this to me. If I'm going to die, let me die a happy death with no interference from my past. I don't need to think of any of them…_

_Bella, you've gone crazy_, I told myself. _Absolutely crazy. Wait, no. You're having an allergic reaction to the chemo. That's why you're hallucinating. But why are you imagining him, and not the most obvious person? Why aren't you screaming for help? Reaching for the call button?_

I tried to move my arm, but I realized that my muscles were frozen. _Oh, that's why. You're in shock. Calm down. Breathe._

My hyperventilation slowed as the hauntingly familiar voice and footsteps were silent. _That's right, Bella. Calm down._

And then a figure appeared at my door. My mouth fell open and my heart pounded.

A tall, muscled, young, blond doctor stood frozen in my doorway. His golden eyes were wide with anticipation. We sat frozen for a few seconds, just staring at each other.

_Hallucinations can't be this clear…I can see the creases in his shirt, and his shadow against the wall…_

I slapped myself in the face. Carlisle did not disappear.

"Whoa, Bella," he said quickly, pulling an IV bag in the room with him. "Don't do that, my dear. I'm really here." He paused at the foot of my bed, not really sure what to do.

His face had not changed at all in the past five years. He was still as young and glorious as ever, but now he looked scared. I still didn't trust my eyes…what if he wasn't really there?

He very slowly walked to my bedside and placed one hand on my arm. Cold, hard fingers stroked my forearm. "I'm really here," he said again.

_You can't trust his touch. That isn't hard to dream up--just think of stone._

He bent down to be closer to my face, exhaling just as I inhaled. A sweet, honey-like perfume filled my nostrils, making my heart ache with recognition as I smelled every detail of his breath. _I can't dream that up, _I thought. _It's far too perfect and real…_

"Carlisle?" I whispered.

He nodded. "It's me."

And then I couldn't control myself. As tired and weak as I was, I leapt up and threw myself at him, probably giving myself bruises as I hit his cold, sturdy body. His arms wrapped around me tightly, and he kissed my cheek as I started to weep onto his shoulder.

"Oh, Carlisle!" I exclaimed. "Carlisle, Carlisle, Carlisle…"

"Bella," he nodded. "I'm here. Shh, dearest. You're fine. I'm the doctor on your case."

The happy tears were flowing freely. "Carlisle, Carlisle," I repeated. "You're so…the same. You love me."

"Of course I do," he said. "You're still a daughter to me, Bella."

I pulled my face from his shoulder and looked into his golden eyes. "How did you know?" I started to ask, but the answer was obvious as soon as I thought up the question. "Ohh…Alice."

"Yes," he nodded. "Alice still…checks up on you from time to time."

I understood the double meaning in his words. "You came from London to Seattle for…me?"

"Of course! I went to Phoenix for you, didn't I?" he teased. And then he frowned. "How did you know we're in London?"

"A nurse told me I have a hot doctor from London," I admitted.

He laughed. "I see. Bella, how are you?"

I sighed and leaned back against my pillows again. Still, I was unable to let go of his hand. He sat on the side of my bed and looked at me with genuine concern in his eyes.

"I'm…fine, I guess," I said. "Chemotherapy sucks."

"I know it does," he sympathized. "But we're going to get you out of here."

My heart leapt with joy at his words, but the grief quickly overshadowed the happiness. Carlisle would leave as soon as I was in remission. Swallowing hard, I dismissed the thought. _Enjoy him while you can, Bella. Work toward your health._

"How is everyone?" I asked him.

"We're fine, I suppose," he said. "I was working at a hospital in the city until Alice…thought of you. Esme renovates houses in London on the cloudy days. Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie don't work or go to school; rather, they just play and have fun in life."

I nodded. Those were all very obvious answers. "What about…" I was unable to say the name.

"You would be proud of him," Carlisle said slowly. "He earned his PhD and is practicing medicine with me."

Shock filled my brain. "Really? Edward…a doctor?"

"Yes," Carlisle nodded. "And a very good one, too. He's amazing with children in the emergency room."

"Wow," I said. "I'm…impressed." _And even more heartbroken. He's found a new love. So what if it isn't another woman? Medicine has captured his heart…the heart that was once yours…_

"He loves his work," Carlisle said quietly. "But he's unhappy."

"_Why?_" I asked incredulously. _Edward, unhappy without me?_

The beautiful doctor sighed. "He's going to kill me for saying this, but you're…not in his life."

The words knocked me breathless. When I recovered, I whispered, "That makes no sense."

"Bella, I have seen his face after he repented from serial murder…and even that grief doesn't compare to the grief he has lived in for five years now."

_So it's guilt, then. He has seen Alice's visions of my depression and he feels responsible._ Hot wetness trickled down my cheeks.

"Shh," Carlisle comforted me, wiping my tears away with his cold fingers. "Things will work out, Bella, one way or another. But for now we need to make you healthy again."

He pulled the IV bag and his tray of equipment to my bed. My stomach rolled when I saw the needles, but Carlisle's cold, familiar hands were comforting. I felt like I was lying in my own bed after years of being away from home. _Home, _I thought. It made sense. Carlisle was a Cullen. And whether they wanted to accept it or not, the Cullens were my home.

"Is anyone else here?" I asked as he started to wipe my fingertip with alcohol. _My finger? Isn't it usually put in the top of my hand?_

He shook his head. "No, just me."

I sighed. "I would love to see Esme and Alice."

"They want to see you, too," he said, uncapping the needle. "Trust me, you are often in all of our thoughts." He smiled wryly. "I'm no mind reader, but I know that for sure. Bella, I need you to hold still and don't panic. I'm doing things a little…differently from most doctors."

I watched in confusion as he gently pricked my fingertip. He smiled at me apologetically before wiping the blood drop off with his tongue. My heart jolted as the cold wetness made me flashback to my dream from a few nights ago.

"Carlisle, what are you doing?" I asked him.

He held a finger up, telling me to wait, as he picked up a cup of water and rinsed his mouth out. "My apologies, Bella," he said. "I was tasting the cancer cells…"

"You can taste them?" I asked in shock.

He nodded. "Yes. It will aid me in your treatment." He gently taped a cotton ball to my pricked finger and turned my hand over again.

"Huh," I said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

He opened a new sterile wipe and wiped the top of my hand. "Hold your breath, dear," he said. "I remember you aren't very fond of IV's."

I smiled and closed my eyes. "I still haven't gotten over that fear."

I barely felt the needle slide into my skin. "I forgot how gentle you are," I admitted. "You should give the entire oncology staff IV lessons."

He chuckled and taped the IV down. "Maybe I should. Would you like a Popsicle or something to settle your stomach?"

"Sure," I said. "I'm pretty hungry."

"I'll have one of the nurses to bring you something."

"Are you leaving?" I asked, already panicking a little.

I have other patients to take care of," he reminded me, smiling comfortingly. "But I'll be with you as much as possible. Don't worry, dear; I'll be coming back."

"Okay," I nodded.

He softly kissed my hand. "Request me specifically if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you, Carlisle. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome, darling. I'll be back ASAP."


	7. Masochist

_**Author's Note:**__ Seriously, guys. I love you all but you have to start reviewing. I'm open to praise, criticism, being told that I'm an idiot, suggestions, questions, concerns…please remember that I'm not Edward! I can't just read your minds. Let me know what you amazing people are thinking._

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ Edward owns a Volvo, Alice owns a Porsche, Rosalie owns a BMW. I don't own any of those. And what a coincidence--I don't own Twilight_, either!

**Author's Note Part Dos: **Edward will only be listening to Carlisle's thoughts in this chapter. To keep you from getting mental voices confused, Carlisle's thoughts will be in bold italics. Edward's thoughts will be in italics.

And finally…this is my favorite chapter so far. I hope you love it!

Chapter Seven: "Masochistic" Edward's POV

I quietly padded into the room with Carlisle, my eyes eagerly running over my love's sleeping body for the first time in five years. My heart lurched as I was floored by her beauty. She was curled up into a fetal position, her luscious brown hair wildly sprawled out about the bed. She hadn't cut it in a while; this was the longest I had ever seen it.

"_**Are you alright**__?_" Carlisle mentally asked me.

I paused for a painful minute, and then nodded. "She looks healthy," I whispered.

"_**She's going to dwindle quickly, though. She had quite a fight tonight**__._"

My heart broke as I heard Carlisle's memories. Bella, heaving over the toilet, crying in pain…

_No angel should ever have to go through that kind of hell._

"_**Edward, are you sure you can do this**__?_" my father thought.

I nodded again. Now that I was at her bedside, I crouched and placed her hand in mine. She felt cooler than she usually did. I couldn't resist pressing my lips to her bruised hand.

"Who gave her this IV?" I asked acidly.

"_**A nurse replaced it. Why**__?_"

"She's hurt," I replied.

"_**Edward, you know bruising happens.**_"

"I know," I sighed.

Forgetting Carlisle altogether, I brushed her hair out of her lovely face. She had deep circles under her eyes and sores on her lips from the acid in her vomit.

She was beautiful.

I pressed a lock of mahogany hair to my nose. First, I smelled sweat from her battle with tonight's round of chemotherapy. And then I smelled shampoo.

No hint of her mouthwateringly delicious scent.

Carefully, I took her hand and put her wrist to my nose. My entire being reeled at the unfamiliar scent. Instead of wine sweeter than honeysuckle, I smelled bitterness.

"Carlisle," I choked. "The stench is awfully strong."

"_**I know, son. The cells have multiplied.**__"_

Before I could stop myself, I growled.

Bella stirred, and I froze. The still-familiar frustration of being deaf to her thoughts kicked in.

"Mmm," she murmured. "I'm bleeding. Hold your breath…"

I paused, confused. She wasn't bleeding at all. Was she dreaming…about _me_? After all of these years?

"_**Edward, I don't mean to rush you, but people are going to get suspicious if I stay in her room all night,**_" my father warned me.

I nodded. "The needle, please," I whispered.

He handed me the little needle with the tube attached. I sanitized her thumb and pricked it. The plastic tube filled with blood quickly. It smelled truly awful, which worried me. A stronger stench equaled more infected cells.

When the tube was filled, I pulled the needle out of her skin, leaving a large sphere of blood on her thumb. Gingerly, I pressed my tongue to it.

I felt like gagging as the bitter, sharp taste filled my mouth. Carlisle lent me a paper cup filled with water, and I splashed it around my mouth before spitting back into the cup. "That's bad," I whispered. "Nothing like her…appeal."

"_**Is it worse than the tests are showing?**_"

"Absolutely," I whispered. "I can't even pick up any trace of the chemo."

"_**It's too early to change the chemo…**_"

"Can we increase it?"

"_**Yes, but it will be harder on her…**_"

I sighed. There were no right turns in this endless maze.

"_**Edward, I have to go. Do you want to stay here with her?**_"

I swallowed hard. I was going to leave, but I looked down at her perfect face and lost my train of thought. "Uh, yeah," I whispered.

Carlisle dropped the tube of blood into his coat pocket and left.

My eyes instantly raked down her face. _Absolute perfection…how have I lived without this?_ Unthinkingly, I touched her delicate face. Her skin was as soft and smooth as it had always been. My fingertips gently traced her cheeks and cheekbones, with every cell in my being silently screaming. Though I had the planes of her face memorized, my hands worked on rememorizing all of her features. Her smooth forehead, still untouched by any signs of again. Her delicate eyelids and the thick fringes of lashes that used to tickle my face whenever she kissed my neck or my cheek. Her soft, slender cheeks that lacked healthy color. The straight bridge of her nose--it took all of my might to keep from nuzzling it with mine. The little crease above her lips that my finger had often played in. Her full lips, the top just a little too full for the bottom, the very lips I had forbade myself from daydreaming about. Softly and quietly, I kissed my index finger and pressed it to her mouth. Knowing I had little self-control, I moved to her chin and jaw line. How many times had I kissed along her jaw, going down to her luscious-smelling neck? Softly, I pulled her hair back from her neck and let my nose skim it.

_Of course it smells wrong._ But the temperature was almost right…

Stroking her neck with my fingers, my eyes wandered down to the rest of her body. It was sheathed in a hospital gown, which wasn't necessarily a seductive article of clothing, but it was thin enough to show the lines and curves of her body. I felt sensations I hadn't felt in a very long time…I looked back to her face, ashamed of myself.

She was frowning, a little crease between her eyebrows. My heart broke all over again as I recognized her "worry face". _What is she dreaming of? _I wished--for the millionth time--I could hear her thoughts.

"Mmm," she murmured. ""Edward?"

I froze as I heard my name. _Is she awake? How could I be so stupid?_

I slowly slid into the floor, removing my fingers from her neck. I crouched in the darkness and waited to see if she was awake. She was quiet for a minute, but eventually rolled on her side so her back was to me.

I stood back up and realized that she was shivering. I sighed quietly as I stood up and pulled the blankets and sheet over her and tucked them around d her.

_Okay, Edward. Time to go. Leave her be._

I stroked her hair and patted her shoulder softly. "Goodbye, my love," I whispered before turning to leave.

"Edward, I love you."

I halted to a stop. The words were plain as day. I quickly turned and looked at her.

She was still asleep.

Unable to resist going back to her, I went and sat on the bed.

"I love you," she repeated.

"I love you, too, my Bella," I murmured. "More than you know."

"Do you really?"

"Yes, love," I admitted. "I know it's hard to believe, but I do."

"Will you come lay with me?"

How could I not? I stretched out on the right side of the bed, not touching her. "Like this?" I asked her softly, completely crazed. _Why are you doing this, Edward? Quit being an idiot._

"Yes, just like that," she said. "This meadow is gorgeous, isn't it?"

_She's dreaming about our meadow, _I marveled. _She still thinks of that day?_

I closed my eyes and pictured the little field, with all of the purple, blue, and yellow flowers blossoming around us. "Yes it is, love." I opened my eyes and looked at her. "You're much more beautiful, though," I said truthfully.

She smiled. "That's not true…but thank you."

"Anytime," I replied. "Do you remember how you held my hand, and stroked my face?" _God, I'm insane…_

"Yes," she grinned. "And then you kissed me, and I was so dizzy…"

I laughed softly. "You were so adorable."

"'And so the lion fell in love with the lamb,'" she murmured, saying the words I had told her so many years ago…

_How many times can a heart break in one night? _I swallowed the lump in my throat. "Yes, I believe I said that," I nodded. "That still hasn't changed, you know."

"I know. I'm still your stupid lamb."

I started quivering. "Bella, you deserve someone better than me."

"Shh, Edward. Don't ruin this moment. You always ruin moments with your depressed moods. Don't I make you happy?"

"More than anything, sweetheart," I admitted.

She smiled. "Good. Can I do something?"

"Anything."

This was the tipping point. I started shaking with the strange dry sobs I had experienced for five years now. She leaned into me, her lips searching blindly for mine. "Love," I choked. "Don't break my heart…"

"Why would it break your heart?" she asked. "Don't you love me?"

"Yes, my love…"

"Then fine." She pressed her lips to mine, and I couldn't resist. I kissed her back, marveling at the feeling…I had starved myself of this. How did I live without kissing Bella everyday? Her lips were absolutely vital to my thriving…to my _surviving_…

When she pulled away, I sighed. I had cheated. Once again, I had coveted what did not belong to me. Those few seconds of happiness would result in decades of suicidal sorrow, but I welcomed the pain. The kiss was worth it, even if she was asleep and unaware of my actual presence. I couldn't find anything of equal value, beauty, or perfection.

Yes, surely the kiss would be the death of me. It was certainly our last kiss. It probably wouldn't be _her_ last kiss, but it was most certainly mine. There was no one in the world like her. There was no way I could muster up for anyone else one-hundredth of the love I felt for her. It was unthinkable. Impossible.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…" she murmured again.

I sighed, slowly dying inside. Both to Bella and myself, I whispered, "What a sick, masochistic lion."


	8. Charlie

**Author's Note: **Though I would like many more, I'd like to say thank you for the reviews I've gotten. My favorite, however, is from **sprazinko **and says "Aww he needs to suck it up and stay with her." Sprazinko, I couldn't agree more. We'll see what happens. But until then…here's the eighth installment of our little soap opera.

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own _Twilight_. I know…what a surprise.

Chapter Eight: "Charlie" Carlisle's POV

"Good morning, Bella," I said as I breezed into the hospital room. The scent of Edward was strong, and seemed to be most concentrated near the bed. _What did he do last night?_

Again, she smiled and leapt up to hug my cold body. I wondered how much she pined for anything that reminded her of Edward.

"'Morning, Carlisle," she said as I kissed her cheek. "How are you?"

"I'm ready to make some progress," I smiled as she laid back down on the bed. "Here, stick this under your tongue." I popped a thermometer into her mouth.

She held still and quiet as I took her blood pressure and listened to her heart. "Everything seems to be good," I told her as I recorded her vitals on her chart. "Your temperature is perfect." I pulled the thermometer out of her mouth and dropped the cover in the trashcan. "Bella, dear, have you been crying?"

She touched her cheek and seemed to be surprised at the wetness. "Um…yeah. I had a bad dream…"

"Do these bad dreams occur often?" I asked her gently.

"Um…I had them a lot after you guys left Forks. But they dwindled about three years ago…but they've been coming back since I've been in the hospital."

I felt nothing but compassion for the girl I still considered to be my daughter. "That's normal for them to come back, Bella. Stress from an illness, a change of scenery…"

"And I have a lot of time to think here," she said. "A _lot_ of time."

I started to say something, but I was interrupted. "Dr. Cullen?" said a surprised voice at the door.

I turned and smiled at Bella's surprised father. _Surprised_ was an understatement. He was floored. "Chief Swan," I nodded. "It's been far too long." I quickly made my hands busy with Bella's IV bag so I could avoid the icy handshake.

"Are you…back in Washington?" he asked carefully.

"Yes," I smiled, hoping to look sheepish. "My wife missed the Northwest, and the kids are all out of the house, so we moved back. I've been working in Seattle for a very short time, actually."

"What a stroke of luck," Charlie murmured, echoing Edward's words from a few days ago.

"I don't believe in luck, Chief," I smiled at him honestly.

"I have to admit, I'm glad you're here," he said. "It's good to know Bella has a doctor I can trust."

I nodded. "Bella is in very good hands. And it's good that I know Bella, so I can fit her treatment to suit her exactly. Plus I want her to feel comfortable."

"I do," Bella said quickly. "I'm going to be fine, Dad."

I suddenly remembered my other patients, and checked my watch. "I have to make my rounds," I said apologetically. "Bella, you know to request me if you need anything. You're my top priority."

"Dr. Cullen," Charlie said suddenly. "We actually have a case that I would love to ask you about…I can't really discuss it in front of other people, though." It was obviously a lie. Bella's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Certainly," I said. "We can talk outside."

We walked down the hall, safely out of Bella's hearing. "What can I help you with, Chief?" I asked.

"I didn't want to say this in front of Bella…" he sighed. "But I have to ask. Is Edward here in Seattle?"

I saw fear, concern, and a little bit of anger in his eyes. "No," I told him. "Edward is actually in medical school in London."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't mean to be rude, Dr. Cullen," he said quietly. "But Bella didn't react well to Edward's absence."

"I know," I said. "I've realized that since she has been in my care."

"Is Edward…married?"

I shook my head. "No. He's single."

"Will he be coming to Seattle?"

"No," I lied. "He's in the middle of his semester."

Charlie looked like he was relieved. I wondered how much he resented my son.

"That's it, then," Charlie said. "Thank you for talking to me. Oh, has your wife visited Bella?"

Red flags went up. I knew if I told him that she hadn't, he would be angry with her because he knew how much Bella adored her. I had to cover up for her. "Esme is still moving everything to our new house," I told him. "She hasn't been up here while I have."

"I don't mean to impose," Charlie said slowly. "But I think it would do Bella a world of good to see her. If Esme doesn't mind…"

"Esme already wants to see her," I answered truthfully. "She's been meaning to plan on it…" Another truth. I just didn't add that Edward wouldn't allow even the dream of a plan.

Charlie nodded. "I'm just worried about my girl."

"I know, my friend," I nodded. "I am, too. I still consider her to be a daughter."

Charlie smiled gratefully, but his eyes hardened, probably at the thought of Edward. "Thank you, Dr. Cullen. You're a very decent person, but I've always known that."

I returned his smile. "Thank you. Is there anything else I can help you with?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "That's it. I'll let you get back to your work. I'll be staying with Bella today."

"That will be good for her," I told him.

Later, after I had visited every patient's room, I made a quick trip to my office, expecting the impatient ringing of the phone. Four missed calls. I quickly picked up the reciever before I had five calls. "Dr. Cullen."

Of course it was Edward. "Alice saw that you met Charlie today."

"I did," I said patiently. His voice was hard and stony, and I didn't want to provoke him. "Did you hear the whole conversation?"

"Yes." He paused. "He loathes me."

I couldn't deny this. "Edward, can you really be angry with anyone who is worried about Bella?"

Edward sighed. "No, I don't suppose I can. Well, except for Mike Newton…"

"Who?" I asked, bewildered.

I was surprised to hear his laugh. "Nothing. Old Forks High School memories. Is there any change in her blood from last night?"

"None," I sighed. "We need to discuss other chemotherapy options tonight."

"Okay," he said quietly. "I'll let you go, then. Oh, we both have phone calls from the London hospital waiting for us at home. They want us back."

I chuckled. "Thank Alice for the message for me."

"Will do. Goodbye, Carlisle. I'll see you tonight."


	9. Determined

Chapter Nine: "Determined" Edward's POV

_God, she's so gorgeous._

I stared at the sleeping Bella longingly, temporarily forgetting Carlisle standing next to me. _**Care to do the honors? **_he thought, offering me the needle.

I didn't want to, but I did. If nothing else it was an excuse to touch her. Sure, I had been touching her every night for the past week. My first night with her and her dreams had been powerful enough to make me come back for more. Tonight would be our eighth night together.

And her blood was growing more and more infected.

I thought I could see a change of color in the crimson liquid, but I knew I was just imagining it because of the change in the stench. And the taste. A tiny drop of her blood welled against my finger, and I quickly tasted it before spitting it out in the paper cup. "Not good," I whispered to Carlisle.

_**I know, son. Let's discuss chemo options.**_

"You're the expert," I told him. "What kind would you suggest?"

I instantly recognized the pills he thought of. "Yeah. I have no complaints about that one…except it's strong. Really strong."

He nodded. _**She needs it, though. Can't you smell the increase of the cells?**_

"Yeah," I said solemnly. "Should we start it tomorrow?"

He nodded. _**I think so. I've never moved this quickly with a patient before…**_

"We have to try, Carlisle."

_**I know. She needs a normal life ASAP.**_

"Yes. I see she has not been eating much."

_**Her nourishment is coming from the IV. She can't keep any food down.**_

I felt the fault lines rip across my chest. It seemed almost criminal to make the chemotherapy worse.

"Carlisle…" I sighed quietly. "I don't know what we're going to do…"

_**It's only been a week, Edward. No other doctor would even consider adjusting her chemo this early. But I can't even smell any traces of the medications in her blood…it's not touching it.**_

"I know," I choked.

_**I'm going to leave you with her and go home to Esme. Be careful.**_

I nodded.

As soon as he left, I crawled into bed with her. While brooding over her files that day, I realized that I had very uncharacteristically _not _indulged in something I used to live for. The visual part of her beauty had stunned me for an entire week. I hadn't even thought of the _audio_ part.

She groaned softly as I bravely moved her arms from her chest. Seven nights of laying by her side had reintroduced all of her noises to me, and I knew that she wasn't anywhere close to awake. She sprawled out across the bed, instantly reeling from my cold touch. _So she isn't dreaming of me yet…_I cursed myself as I realized how disappointed I was in this.

Her dreams had not been anywhere as vivid as the first night. There was little talking; mostly it was unintelligible garble. And of course, her thoughts were absolutely silent. I had no indication of what she had been dreaming about, but she wasn't shy about wrapping her arms around me. We hadn't kissed again, which was a good thing…but it was also so bad.

This was the closest I had gotten to her since the first night. As she stretched out, I slowly and silently slid down the bed, bending my knees so I would have room. My hand greedily slid down her stomach. I could already tell she had lost a little weight.

Finally, my head reached its target level. Watching her face intently, I slowly and lightly placed my head on her chest, just above her breast so it was pressed against my cheek. That wasn't why I was doing this, though. I swallowed hard and cleared my head so I could focus on my goal.

And finally, I heard it and nothing else.

The slow thrumming of her heart.

_Of course it is the most recognizable sound in my world. It's almost as beautiful as her face…so strong and vital and determined…_

There wasn't anything I would trade for this moment. It had been so long since I was in this exact position, so long since I had heard that marvelous sound.

I relaxed a little and put more weight on her chest, wrapping my arms around her. She was bundled up in a blanket and wasn't cold at all. I would have heard the goose pimples rising on her skin…

A few hours later, it hit me that her heart was the only thing I could hear. _So, my love, it's going to be a silent night_. I looked at her lovely face. She was sound asleep and so peaceful. At this moment, it appeared that nothing could disturb this sleeping angel. _Oh, my Bella. How I wish I could have this moment for forever._

The dreams came later, but they were vague. All that happened was that sometime around sunrise, her arms wrapped around me and she kissed the top of my head. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I said automatically.

"What if we went to see Esme?"

"I don't think that's a good idea, love."

"Why not?"

I sighed. "Because it will hurt you…"

Her body stiffened. "Esme won't hurt me. She loves me."

_Time for my nightly heartbreak. _"I love you, too, but I still hurt you…" I moaned.

"No, Edward…you're beautiful…"

I chuckled once at her shallow dreams. As if immortal beauty excused any mortal flaws. "You're even more beautiful. You could call us 'Beauty and the Beast'."

She weakly smacked my shoulder. "Hush, Edward. You're doing that ruining-the-moment thing again."

"I'm sorry. Forgive me, love."

"How could I not?"

"You're so gracious, Bella."

She frowned in disagreement. "There's nothing…" Her words faded into some muttering that I couldn't understand.

A minute later, I assumed that she was silent again, and I realized that I couldn't afford any more time with her.

I softly kissed her hand. "Good night, my love. I'll see you tomorrow night."

The little crease between her eyebrows appeared. "Always nights, just like a real vampire."

I laughed lightly. "That's what I am."

She smiled. "Oh, Edward. Good night. I love you."

"I love you, too." I kissed her cheek and stood up on my feet.

"Oh, Edward?" she murmured.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I still want to see Esme."


	10. Idea

Author's Note:** I am surprised everyday when I check my email and I see that more people are adding this story to their favorites or to their subscription lists. Thank you guys so much for your support. I need some reviews, though. It's all because of a simple formula…**

**More reviews=more popularity for the story=more motivation for the author to write=more and better chapters**

**Please please please let me know what you're thinking!**

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer has her veggie plates, and she has her vampires. I have neither.

Chapter 10: "Idea" Bella's POV

I woke up sometime around dawn, only to find myself alone and crying. The dreams were getting out of control. _I'll have to ask Carlisle about them. Surely he's studied psychology._

But I drifted back to sleep, and woke several hours later to Carlisle quietly injecting something into my IV tube.

"What's wrong with me now?" I joked tiredly.

He smiled. "I didn't mean to wake you. Have you been crying?"

I noticed that my pillow was once again very wet. "Yeah, I guess I have. I had a bad dream…but I'm finished with tears starting now."

"Bella, if I could cry, I would. A lot."

"Crying just makes me feel worse," I said. "My throat hurts pretty badly after I cry. Anyways, what's with the injection?"

"I'm pumping you up with vitamins and minerals. We're changing your chemo today."

"Will it be…easier?" I asked hopefully.

He sighed. "Probably not. But it will also probably work."

"Why don't you just ask Alice?"

He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. "Hmm…" he murmured. "That's actually a brilliant idea. I don't know why I haven't thought to include her in your treatment."

"Maybe I could see her…" I suggested.

Carlisle said nothing as he took his clipboard and started scribbling.

"Maybe not," I amended quietly.

"It's not my choice, Bella."

"Who has made the choice, then?" I paused and sighed in defeat. "As if I didn't know."

"He's only distancing us from you because he loves you, Bella."

_Edward, still loving me. What a joke._ But I looked into Carlisle's honey eyes, and my doubts were almost erased. He appeared to be so earnest and _honest_.

I didn't trust him. He had been working to make me feel more comfortable for a while. What was a little white lie?

"Bella, if it makes you feel any better, I don't agree with him," Carlisle sighed. "Actually, your father suggested that I bring Esme in for a visit. He thinks it will make you feel better. But Edward would never allow it."

I was surprised. I had no idea that Charlie was so perceptive, or that he even still thought of my former family. I slumped on the mattress and pouted like a child.

Carlisle laughed. "Maybe if Edward saw that face he would crack…" He started humming cheerfully as he went over my vitals. I realized with a shock that I had never heard his singing voice before. It was almost as beautiful as…Edward's.

It was amazing how I could so clearly and intentionally say the forbidden name in my head. Perhaps just being near another vampire or having repetitive dreams made it easier. The hole in my chest was still there, but it was a little more bearable. However, I knew that as soon as I was out of the hospital, the pain would come back with a vengeance.

"I think I will employ Alice, though," Carlisle murmured, half to himself. "I'll call her as soon as I go to my office."


	11. Future

**Author's Note: **A different POV, for a change. Enjoy and please review!

**Disclaimer:** Unless you are Stephenie Meyer, neither of us own these characters. And if you are Stephenie Meyer…thank you, and I love you.

Chapter 11: "Future" Alice's POV

"Edward, _please_ let me see Bella!"

"_No,_" my brother snarled at me. "Alice, you are asking entirely too much. Why are you so selfish?"

"It would do Bella good to see me," I argued. "I can _see_ that!"

"Absolutely not. Bella _will_ be rid of us as soon as she goes into remission. Oh, for Christ's sake, quit shouting in your head!"

I tried to tone down my mental voice without breaking concentration on Norwegian nursery rhymes. It was a way to keep Edward out of my head, of course. I had exactly what he wanted, but he wasn't going to get it without giving me something first.

"Alice, you are so selfish!" he repeated.

"I know," I snapped back. "Edward, she's my best friend. I miss her and love her, too."

"Can you please stop that illogical nonsense and just tell me what will happen if we put her on the new chemotherapy?" His eyes were crazed and he was about to snap.

"No," I replied calmly, shaking my head. "That's my hostage. You can't have that information until I get what I want." Now my mind turned to the U.S. Constitution. _We the people…_

"_Alice!!!!_" He grabbed me by the tops of my arms and lifted me a few inches into the air.

"Edward, drop her," Jasper said calmly. And of course, Edward didn't have any other choice as Jasper started to work his magic.

"I wasn't going to hurt her, Jazz," Edward mumbled. "Of course I'm not. Don't even think that."

"I know, my brother. But you have to calm down."

"Can you _please_ reason with your wife?" Edward begged.

Jasper wrapped his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Edward. I agree with her."

"Of course you do." He sighed in defeat. "I'm finished arguing. Alice, you are not going to see her, even if I have to go into this blindly."

The Constitution became the most prominent thing in my head. Because he couldn't hear the vision I had just before he walked in the door. He couldn't possibly know that I would see Bella, and we would be as close as ever…and we would _remain_ as close as ever. Right now, he couldn't handle the fact that she would become a permanent part of our lives once again.

And there was no way he was going to become empowered to do anything to affect that future.


	12. Need

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _Twilight_. Now maybe you can continue to read something that WILL surprise you.

Chapter Twelve: "Need" Bella's POV

I woke up from a lovely dream still able to feel every texture of him. His soft but hard skin, so smooth and cold. His gentle, kind lips on my hand. And his _smell_. I buried my face in the sheets and inhaled. As soon as the beautiful scent hit my nostrils, my chest ripped open and I had the sensation of a hemorrhage. Well…at least what I imagine a hemorrhage to feel like.

Suddenly aware that I was not alone, I sat up quickly, making my head spin. "Whoa there," Carlisle murmured, catching me. "I'm sorry to wake you. I just needed a blood sample."

I noticed his lips were ruby red, and I nodded at him. "The nurse brought me a pitcher of water," I muttered, my throat dry and scratchy.

He poured two plastic cups and handed one to me. I drank as he rinsed his mouth out. As the liquid unpleasantly scraped against my delicate throat, I realized with chagrin that my ability to "feel" Edward was only "feeling" Carlisle as he worked over me. The dreamy hallucinations weren't hallucinations at all.

"How does the blood taste today?" I asked in fake cheerfulness to distract my mind.

He ducked his warm eyes from mine to look at his clipboard. "…About the same. You put up quite a fight last night, didn't you?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "Finny found me in the bathroom floor again. I couldn't move."

"Stronger chemotherapy means stronger side effects," he sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"It's okay," I said lightly, hating to see this angel in pain. "Do you think I could eat some tacos?"

Carlisle actually chuckled. "Chemo cravings. I'm afraid that we won't be serving tacos today. Is Charlie visiting you today? Maybe he can bring you some."

I shook my head. "No, he's not. That's okay, Carlisle. Don't worry about it."

He pursed his lips thoughtfully and placed a frigid hand over mine. "I'll see what I can do." With sorrowful eyes, he bent to kiss my hair.

After he left, I slowly got out of bed and went to the shower. I felt vomit-y and sweaty after a long night and I wanted to scrub down. The hot shower felt good, but it was too quiet. My once-controlled mind began to wander to my dream from the night before. Though I was hungry for once, my body was too weak to process the perfection of that dream. I just didn't have the strength or energy to think about him. So I started to hum quietly, first "Chopsticks" and then songs by Linkin Park. It helped to relax my exhausted muscles as I sat in the bathtub and shampooed my sweaty hair.

Two songs later, I pulled my hands from my soapy hair and stuck my head under the stream of hot water. What I saw in my hands made me gasp.

A round clump of hair, soaked but thick. "Oh, God," I whispered. Unthinkingly, I ran my fingers through my hair again. I felt like vomiting as a few more thick strands wound around my fingers.

_So this is it. I'm officially going bald._

The tears spilled over as I cut the water off and scrambled out of the shower and into my gown. Feeling eternally cold, I went to my duffel bag and slipped on some flannel pajamas. I slid into my bed, sobbing.

As I collapsed and hit my pillow, something soft and familiar touched my face. Terrified, I looked at the object. Another mass of hair that had obviously fallen out the night before. I gathered it in my hand and started to really cry.

Sparing a soaked pillow, I curled up into a fetal position and sobbed on my sheets. When no more tears would come, I wiped my face and tiredly buried it in my pillow.

_Breathe, Bella. Just breathe._

I exhaled, feeling zero energy available to continue the pattern. Still, like Carlisle said, I was a fighter. I forced myself to inhale.

What I smelled floored me. My blood literally ran cold and stabbed the insides of my veins.

Edward's scent, so perfect and delicious.

I had forced myself to block this memory for five years. However, this smell was forever imprinted on my mind. I would recognize it anywhere. Even on a hospital pillow.

_But that's impossible_, I thought. _Absolutely and utterly impossible. Edw--…he doesn't care about you anymore. He wouldn't come and check on you…or lay next to you. You're dreaming it all up._

But I sniffed again, and it was _impossible_ to imagine that little whiff of heaven.

_No, Bella. You're going crazy. You're only wishing that he would still come and watch you sleep. He's not attracted to you, physical or otherwise. Stop pretending he is._

My heart quaked, and I felt the cracks on the surface. I suddenly needed to talk to someone. Not Carlisle. Definitely not Charlie.

A woman.

That left one person.

I leapt out of my bed and went to my duffel bag to pull out my cell phone. Hitting the speed dial, I frantically pressed it to my ear. As I heard the voicemail greeting, I scolded myself. _You idiot. She's in class._

Still, I left a message. "Mom," I said tearfully. "I could really use a mother right now."


	13. Shocked

**Author's Note: **A chapter from Esme's POV! I have just discovered how much I love getting into this character's head. I hope you love her as much as I do. Let me know what you think with a review!

**Disclaimer: **Stephenie Meyer owns it all.

Chapter Thirteen: "Shocked" Esme's POV

I walked through the hospital hallways, searching for the nurses' desk. It had been decades since Carlisle had worked at this particular hospital, and it had changed a lot.

I felt relieved as I saw the desk and walked to it. "Hello," I said. "I'm Dr. Cullen's wife. I'm here to visit Isabella Swan."

The rather large male nurse behind the desk stared at me. _This must be the nurse Alice was talking about._ "Um…okay. She's…" Flustered, he looked down at the desk. "Room 303."

"Thank you," I beamed at him. I tried not to chuckle as I was reminded of the way Edward used his supernatural good looks to fluster people just like that.

I found Bella's room quickly and easily. Knocking as I entered, I saw her sleeping.

Silently I placed the tray of Mexican food on a table and walked to her bedside. She seemed to be sleeping peacefully. As I tucked her hair behind her ear, I realized that she was exhausted from crying. Goosebumps rose on her arm at my cold touch. Quietly, I tucked the rough hospital blanket around her. _I'll have to bring her a quilt. It would be warmer._

She barely stirred, but the gently movement made me notice her hands. My heart broke as I saw the wad of brown hair clasped in her fingers.

Scared to wake her up, I sat on the plastic chair and waited.

_You can leave, Esme. Edward won't be mad at you if you do._

I shuddered as I thought of the argument that had broken out in our house today.

"_Hello, my love," I answered my ringing phone._

"_Hi, darling," said my favorite voice. "Can you do me a quick favor?"_

"_Of course." I added a tree to my painting._

"_Bella is craving tacos, and I really need her to eat. But I can't leave to go get food for her."_

"_I'll pick some up," I told my husband. "I don't suppose I can take it to her myself."_

_Edward, who had been standing at the window, shook his head silently._

"_That's fine," I sighed. "Carlisle, I will bring it to your office ASAP."_

"_Thank you, sweetheart. I love you."_

"_Love you, too." As I hung up, Edward came and sat next to me. "Bella prefers chicken tacos with soft shells and lettuce and tomato," he said sadly. "She also likes rice with queso as a side dish. Coke to drink."_

"_I've got it," I said, putting my paintbrush in the jar of water. "Are you okay?"_

_He nodded. "Yeah. This is getting harder…staying away, I mean."_

_I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his cheek. "I love you."_

"_I love you, Mom." He smiled sadly. "I imagine you should order the food before lunchtime."_

_My phone buzzed. I checked my messages. "Esme," it said. "I'm having major problems with a patient and I won't be there to receive the food. You'll have to take it to Bella. Love, Carlisle."_

"_No," Edward said. "Absolutely not."_

"_Edward," I sighed. "You're going to deny her food?"_

"_Of course not. Leave it at the nurses' desk."_

"_They won't give it to her," Alice piped up. "There's quite a large nurse working who would eat it." Obviously she was telling the truth, because Edward believed her. "We'll wait until Carlisle can give it to her," he decided._

"_Edward, I just had another vision," Alice said softly. "Bella just said aloud that she needs a mother right now. Renee can't come to Seattle. However, Esme is already here. Esme is just as much of a mother to Bella as Renee is."_

"_What happened today?" I asked Alice._

_Alice's face grew very soft and sad as she looked at her lap. "She lost some of her hair today."_

_Edward moaned and buried his face in his hands._

"_Edward, she does need a mother," I said. "It's a woman thing. Let me help her. Only me."_

_Edward sat silently for sixty-five seconds. "Fine. But only Esme. And I'm still not happy about this…but whatever makes Bella happy."_

I cringed as I thought of Alice's response that Edward had intentionally ignored.

"_You're talking about forever, you know."_

My thoughts were interrupted by Bella moaning. She slowly rolled over and opened her eyes.

I sat silently and stared into her shocked brown eyes for a few seconds. Finally, she blinked and said, "Esme?"

I smiled at her and crossed to her bed. "Alice said you could really use a mother right now."


	14. Mother

**Author's Note:** Here's another favorite chapter of mine, and another opportunity to explore Esme. I promise, I'm going to be exploring another great character very soon. And speaking of greatness, may I say…THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! I love reading them. Keep reviewing because there is some unexpected stuff coming in future chapters. I'd love to hear your reactions to it.

**Disclaimer: **I'm not amazing enough to own _Twilight_. It is what it is.

Chapter Fourteen: "Mother" Bella's POV

I stared at the beautiful heart-shaped face for a little while, completely astounded. Like my reunion with Carlisle, I didn't really believe it was her until she placed an icy hand over mine.

And like my reaction to Carlisle, I leapt into her arms.

She covered my face and hair with kisses, gently rocking back and forth. "I'm so happy to see you," I choked out. She laughed quietly. "The feeling is mutual, sweetheart."

"Wh-why are you here?" I asked.

"Carlisle told me you have a hankering for tacos today," she laughed, gesturing to a plastic bag of to-go boxes. So gracefully it nearly killed me, she stepped to the table and started arranging the food on my rolling food tray.

"That smells amazing," I said as I realized that I was still holding the clump of hair. Embarrassed, I tossed it into the garbage can. A round of unpleasant memories from hours before hit me. Remembering the strangely familiar and painful smell, I bent to smell my sheets. However, I couldn't sniff as Esme turned around with the tray.

"Wow," I said as I saw the plethora of food. Tacos, tortilla chips and salsa, rice with queso, and cheesecake. "This is incredibly generous. Thank you so much."

"You are so welcome, darling. I hope it's good. I'm no judge."

I took my first bite of a taco. It was heavenly. "It's delicious. How did you know I like chicken with soft shells?"

She frowned and sat on my mattress, crossing her legs Indian-style. "Edward remembers everything about you."

I swallowed the bite. "Oh, right," I said bitterly. "Perfect vampire memory."

"I think it's a little more than that," she said softly.

I shook my head and changed the subject. "So how are you? What are you doing?"

"I'm doing as great as I can," she said mysteriously. "I'm working as an architect in London. I've actually been restoring an old tutor house before I had to fly to America to take care of my family member." She smiled at me.

I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you, Esme."

"You have no reason to thank me, sweetheart. It's a knee-jerk reaction to take care of you. Even though I haven't done a very good job of it in the past five years."

I finished my first taco. "I'm fine…it's not your responsibility. And I understand that Edward is extremely opposed to the idea of the Cullens being in my life again."

"He'll come around," she said, again mysterious. "How are you feeling, dear? Alice, er, said that you were having a bad day…"

I involuntarily looked at the trashcan holding my lost hair. "Yeah. I guess the chemotherapy actually does make you lose your hair. And your curves."

"You still look beautiful to me," she said softly. "I'm sure that Edward would think so, too."

I shrugged. "Carlisle will lead me to remission, and I'll be myself again after some months. Maybe some Bosley," I added, trying to lighten the mood.

She didn't crack a smile. "But you're holding up well otherwise?"

"I guess," I said. "I'm sick every night with vomiting and a terrible headache. That's why Carlisle was so ready to get me some tacos, huh? He wants me to digest nutrients before I throw everything up."

"I imagine so. Listen to Carlisle, dear."

"I am," I smiled at her, working on my second taco. "Wow, this tastes incredible."

"I can't take credit," she said, "but I'll be happy to order you tacos whenever you like, day or night. Or any other food, for that matter."

"Thank you, Esme," I murmured. "You've always been so wonderful to me."

"Bella, honey, I owe you that. You made my son so happy…he's still so changed by you."

I decided to sample the rice, not responding.

"You're sad, sweetheart," she said softly. "Talk to me."

"I want Edward back," I whispered, tears rolling down my cheeks.

"He wants you back, too." She started to rub my blanketed legs.

"I don't believe that," I said so quietly it was barely audible.

"He just loves you so much he knows he should leave you alone."

"Maybe that's the false pretense," I said, scooping some salsa onto a chip.

"It's not, honey," she said. "Except for you, I know him better than anyone does. Trust me--he's very much in love with you, and it is killing him to see you like this."

Well, _that_ caught my attention. "To see me?" I asked dully.

She smoothed her face. "In Carlisle's thoughts, of course."

"He's in Seattle?" I nearly screeched.

Her eyebrows raised in alarm as she realized that I did not know this fact. _How much is Carlisle keeping from me? _I thought.

"We all are," she confessed. "We all wanted to be near you in case something…medical-related…happened."

The pain was bewildering as I realized that Edward was only minutes away from me. Only minutes away, and he couldn't come visit me? Call me? Make his doctor skills useful?

I felt so betrayed.

Esme saw my pain and quickly changed the subject. "Carlisle said you're studying to be a teacher?"

I nodded. "I want to be a college professor, but I'll probably have to start with high school. English or literature."

She smiled. "You always loved the books."

I nodded. "I sill do. I've been pestering Charlie to bring me some fresh reading material."

"I'll find you some books," she promised. "Is there anything else I can do to make you more comfortable?"

"Stay with me?" I whispered.

She leaned over to kiss my forehead. "Of course, my Bella."

I managed to finish my entire lunch--something I had not accomplished in a while. Esme threw all of the trash away and sat on the bed with me, chatting about London and catching me up on the Cullens. Alice and Jasper had either gotten married or renewed their vows (I wasn't sure) in an elaborate designer ceremony. ("Alice was quite upset when she had to settle for Rosalie as her maid of honor," Esme sighed sadly. "Edward wouldn't let her contact you.") Emmett and Rosalie stayed with the Cullens in London. ("It feels as if our family is _almost_ complete," she frowned, taking my hand.) The four wilder Cullens and Hales had been enjoying the nightclubs and bars of London, "just to show off". Esme was extremely proud of Jasper. "He hasn't slipped up once since we've been gone," she gloated. "I think what happened with you was motivation to abstain from his desires. That's yet another positive you've contributed to our family, darling." Though it was strange logic that my near-death experience changed my almost-killer, that news made me feel better.

But the news that fascinated me the most was obviously not about Jasper, Emmett, Alice, or Rosalie. Esme told me that Edward was much more subdued than his siblings. "He's been severely depressed since your birthday party," she said, staring at my blanket. "It's even worse than before he met you. I suppose that when you've never loved anybody, you don't know what's missing in your life. But when you do love somebody, and that person abruptly leaves your life, it hurts more than the previous emptiness. You are no longer empty, but you're scarred and filled with raw blood and pain."

Part of me randomly remembered the tragedy in her life--the death of her child, her beloved newborn baby boy. Esme knew what it was like to grieve a dead relationship. The tears started to stream down my face.

"Though he's been in deep pain," she continued, "he's functioning. He's a doctor now, you know."

I couldn't help but to smile with her. Pure joy and untainted pride radiated from her lovely face and she looked so much like a mother. "I know," I said. "I'm so proud of him."

She nodded. "Carlisle raves about how fabulous he is at his work. Edward really enjoys medicine. It seems medicine has replaced music."

"He doesn't play anymore?" I asked, stunned.

She shook her head. "At your birthday party, Jasper sort of...destroyed Edward's piano. Edward refused to replace it or let any of us replace it. It sort of killed Jasper. Anyways, we moved to London, and I designed Edward a music room with a grand piano and other instruments and a great stereo. The room was designed for good acoustics. But he only goes in there to sit on the floor. He never plays."

"I'm so sorry, Esme," I whispered. I couldn't quite process it--a world in which Edward didn't play his piano? Impossible.

"Bella, you have no reason to apologize. Edward is the one who made the decision to be miserable."

One of the great things about being in the company of vampires was that every minute did not have to be filled up with conversation. I sat quietly and contemplated all of this new information. Esme said that Edward was miserable, and I knew that Esme would not lie to me. My mind tried to explore the reasons behind Edward's depression. Guilt, obviously, for making me unhappy. The nearly-deadly incident with Jasper...was Edward still beating himself up over that? Maybe he was shouldering false responsibility for my illness. God knows he had done that many times over things he couldn't control.

It wasn't until hours later that Carlisle came into my room and interrupted us. I was unbelievably happy to see Esme and Carlisle together. I had never realized how much I missed having "parents" who loved each other. Carlisle greeted Esme with a kiss and sat next to her on my bed, holding her hand. He always referred to her as "sweetheart" or "darling". It was a bittersweet display to watch--half of me longed for that kind of relationship, but the other half of me was overjoyed that some people remained in love together.

When visitors' hours were over, Carlisle and Esme left, with the latter promising to come back ASAP that night. She found me again over the toilet and sang softly as she held my hair back and wiped my face and neck with a cold washcloth. _A mother_, I marveled. That was another great thing about hanging out with vampires. Your wishes sometimes came true. Of course, as in the case with Edward, your wishes were harshly used against you and they left you thinking you were never going to see light again. But there were moments in which the light burned so brightly you needed sunglasses or an umbrella. As I laid in bed and mused over this, I giggled at a most random thought. Alice would probably happily give me designer sunglasses and an overbearing umbrella...even if her brother wouldn't give me anything.


	15. Passing

**Author's Note:** Here's a very quick chapter that I had to add for author's reasons. And now I want to cheer about the _next _chapter. It begins some plotting by Alice and Emmett. What's going to happen when the gruesome twosome decide to take the future into their hands? Obviously it's going to be outrageous! So bear with me through this conservative chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I'm running out of creative disclaimers, so obviously I'm not creative enough to own _Twilight_ or any of the characters.

Chapter Fifteen: "Passing" Edward's POV

I bounded into my new-old Seattle house, running in joy. Esme heard my quick footsteps and flung the door open, a worry line creasing her forehead.

"I love you, I love you, I love you!" I shouted, picking her up and spinning her around.

She laughed. "What is it, son?"

"Bella is _eating_!" I exclaimed. "Sure, she throws everything up, but she's getting nutrients and she's not putting up a fight."

She smiled. "That's not my fault..."

"Oh yes it is!" I said, kissing her cheek. "Your daily lunches are helping her so much. And Carlisle says she's _happy_. You and Alice were right."

Alice danced into the foyer. "Did I just hear my brother say that I'm _right_?" she gasped. "I thought for sure that I had imagined that vision!"

I put Esme down and picked up my tiny sister, crushing her in an Emmett-style bear hug. "Thank you, little sister," I stressed. "I owe you so much. What's on the top of your wish list?"

"Time with Bella," she said matter-of-factly, crossing her arms as I put her back on her feet.

I cringed. "Besides that."

"That's the only thing I want," she said.

"No," I growled, my exuberant mood dropping. "Try again."

She stomped her foot on the ground. "Damn you. Fine. I want a Porsche 911 Turbo. Bright yellow, leather seats, top speeds, and a monster sound system. Make Emmett and Rose envious."

"Your wish, my command," I told her, kissing her spiky hair. I turned to Esme. "Are you going to visit Bella today?"

"Of course," she said. "That makes eight days in a row. I can't just let her down." She was interrupted by her ringing phone. She read the caller ID and hesitated. "It's Bella."

"Answer it," I encouraged her. I was amazed at how badly I wanted to hear Bella's voice when she was _awake_. And of course I felt horrible for that.

"Hello?" Esme answered.

"Hi, Esme," Bella said. "I saw that you called. I'm sorry, I was in the shower."

Her voice was different from her sleep-talking. She was alert, of course, and made a little bit more sense. And it was perfect.

"It's fine, honey," Esme told her. "I was wondering what you want for lunch today."

"Mmm…" Bella grew quiet as she contemplated. "Maybe an omelet? That's weird."

Esme snickered. "It's fine, sweetheart. I'll find you the finest omelet in Seattle. I'll see you shortly."

After she hung up, I told her, "Ham and cheese. That's what she prefers."

Esme nodded. "Got it."

"Let me know how she's doing today," I told her. "So I can know if I can visit her tonight."

"Of course," my mother said, standing on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek. "I'll let you know. And whether you want to admit it or not, I'm passing your love to her."


	16. Link

**Author's Note: **Muahahaha. Just thought I would give an evil laugh for Alice. Be prepared for some twists and unexpected turns in the next few chapters. And be prepared to REVIEW!!!!

**Disclaimer: **And so the fanfic author fell in love with _Twilight _(which she does not own)_._ Thank you, Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter Sixteen: "Link" Alice's POV

"Alice, honey," Jasper purred into my ear as I stared out the window. "You're frustrated…and depressed. Is it the Bella thing?"

I sighed and nodded. "Yeah. I just want to see her."

"I know, Allie," he said, using his nickname for me. "But Edward has perfectly solid and understandable emotions about it all."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't take his side."

"I'm not," Jasper whispered, wrapping his arms around me and ducking his head to kiss my forehead. "I'm _always_ Team Alice, silly girl. Don't you know that?"

"Yeah," I whispered, burying my face in his chest. He softly kissed my hair. "I just want to see her," I repeated.

"Tell me the visions that you're hiding from him."

"They're mostly stuff about her health. She's doing fine right now. I think it will get better. But there are other visions," I admitted.

Jasper scooped me up into his arms and went and sat in the rocking recliner, cradling me. "Tell me."

"They're going to reunite," I whispered. "It's going to turn out well. But…there's a missing link, I think. _Something_ has to happen. And I can't figure out what it is." I sighed theatrically. "I'm so frustrated! I feel like it all rests on my shoulders."

"It doesn't," he reminded me, rocking soothingly.

"You don't know that," I snapped. Instantly, I regretted it. "Oh, Jazz, I'm sorry," I said. "I don't mean to be rude…" I took his face in my hands and kissed him apologetically.

"Shh, it's okay, sweetheart. I understand how frustrated you are." He sighed, ashamed. "Imagine how you would feel if you were the cause of all of this."

"No, don't say that," I whispered. "Jasper Whitlock Hale, don't do that. It's not your fault. Fate happens for a reason."

He smiled at me sadly. "You're so pure and good," he sighed. "I love your emotions…"

"I love _you_," I told him.

"I love you too, Allie." He kissed me seriously.

Just when we were really getting into the kiss, something went off in my head like a pop.

"Oh!" I exclaimed as Jasper's face disappeared and Bella's replaced it.

"What is it, sweetie?" he asked me urgently.

I shook my head, still unable to see him. The scene played out in front of my eyes in vivid, opaque colors. It felt so real. I knew that it _was_ real--it just hadn't happened yet.

"Ohh," I nodded, smiling. "I see."

"You see what?"

"The missing link," I bragged. "I found it. I don't suppose you would be able to do me a favor?"

"That depends," he said warily. "You have that evil conniving look on your face that tells me you're plotting."

I laughed. "Make out with me in front of Edward."

"Absolutely not," he said. "Get Emmett and Rosalie to do it."

Of course my husband would be shy about it. He wasn't very physically affectionate in front of other people. (Luckily, when we were alone, he couldn't keep his hands off of me.)

"Fine," I said. I leapt out of his lap. "_EMMETT!!_"


	17. Operation

**Author's Note: **If you'll recall, the previous chapter had the buzz words: "make out". In this chapter, Emmett acts like…Emmett. So you've been warned that there will be some PDA. Consider this chapter to be a little lemon squeezed in the tea. Also, notice my little nod to Eli Manning in the first paragraph. Hotty Toddy!

**Disclaimer:** Emmett may claim that he owns Rosalie (and vice versa), but they're really owned by Stephenie Meyer. Not me.

Chapter Seventeen: "Operation" Emmett's POV

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I shouted at the TV. "Don't fumble…oh, shit! Oh! _Touchdown_!!" I jumped off the couch and did a victory dance. "And _that_ is why Manning is going to the Super Bowl! Ohh, baby!"

Suddenly I was tackled onto the couch by a teeny but sturdy body. "Shut up, Emmett," Alice whispered. "I'm going to make a business deal with you."

"Oh?"

She paused to check something in the future and then nodded. "What would you do for a brand-new Hummer?"

Well, _that_ piqued my interest. "I'd probably give Edward a lap dance," I hooted.

Alice grinned evilly. "That's not what I'm suggesting, but it's close."

"Okay, now I'm seriously interested," I told her, rubbing my hands together theatrically. "What can I do for you, ma'am?"

"Bella is not feeling well tonight and Edward is not anticipating a peaceful sleep, which means that he can't--"

"Secretly rape her," I finished for her.

Alice rolled her eyes. "However," she continued, "I have reason to believe that he needs to be there tonight. So we're playing a little matchmaking, my brother."

I groaned. "This better be good."

"Oh, it is. What is your favorite thing to do?"

"Rosalie," I answered automatically. "Wait, does she count as a thing?"

"Never mind. We'll debate that later," Alice said. "But yes. I'm paying you to get frisky with Rose in front of Edward."

"Prostitution. I like it," I said. "Emmett the Escort. But why?"

She rolled her eyes again. "Because Edward needs to go to the hospital and sex irritates him more than anything. And Jasper refuses to do it."

"Good thinking, midget," I approved, running a hand through her hair. "Where is he?"

"In the living room, playing the piano. Don't you hear it?"

"_He's_ playing?" I asked incredulously. "I thought it was Esme."

Alice shook her head. "No. Okay, go! And don't think about our conversation."

"10-4," I said. "Operation Fuck Edward Crazy is underway." I ripped off my shirt and shouted "Rose, baby!" as I sprinted through the house. Rosalie was in our bedroom, brushing her hair. "Come on, Rose," I said, taking her into my arms. "I'm a prostitute today and I have a client to please."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her mouth falling open.

Remembering that she hated Bella and would not be interested in sabotaging our brother for his own good, I quickly backtracked. "You're my hoe. Come on, I'm horny."

"Okay…" she said, confused but willing. "I can't resist you when you're shirtless, Mr. Biceps. Where are we going?"

"Just trust me," I said, positioning her so she was straddling me, her legs wrapped around my torso as I ran to the living room. She instantly started to kiss my mouth, already trusting me. Edward's mediocre piano performance stopped as we crashed on the couch. I fell back, letting her straddle me. "Oh, baby!" I said loudly and obnoxiously. "I love you so much, Sweet-Cheeks!"

I heard Edward turn on the bench to stare at us. "Can't you guys get a room?" he growled.

I ignored him to accomplish my mission. Rosalie ignored him because she was kinky.

Realizing he wasn't quite disgusted enough to leave, I pulled Rosalie's mouth from mine and sat her up so I could rip off her shirt down to her tiny tank top. She fell back on my bare torso, her tongue ready to meet mine.

"For Christ's sake!" Edward shouted. "Go away! We're in a _common area_!"

"No man's land!" I shouted back. "Oh, Rose! Lick me there!"

"Fuck!" Edward moaned, turning back to his piano.

"Exactly!" I shouted back. I made a show of running my hands up her tank top and moaning loudly. Edward starting humming and banging on the piano. I had to step it up.

"Oh, Hot-Lips!" I yelled. "Sugar-Puss! You're such a bad girl!"

"I need to be punished!" Rose agreed, scratching down my bare chest and necking me. Edward sighed loudly and quit playing. I heard him bang his head against the piano keys.

Again, I had to step it up a notch.

"Bring your ass over here!" I told her, filling my thoughts with nothing but my hands on the back of her panties.

"Yes, sir!" she nodded. Acting on my thoughts, I pulled her skirt up and started spanking her.

"Okay, fine, you guys win!" Edward surrendered, walking to the coffee table to retrieve his car keys. "God, that is more of Rosalie than I ever wanted to see," he grumbled, quickly looking away.

"Don't be jealous!" I told him as Rosalie sat up and unbuckled my belt.

"What whores," Edward muttered. Not wanting to derail Alice's plan, I turned to Rosalie and started talking dirty again. "Do you know where I want your mouth?"

A minute after Edward left, Alice skipped into the room. "Mission accomplished," she announced. "He's going straight to Room 303 and what I want to happen is definitely going to happen. Thanks, Emmett. You deserve an Academy Award."

Rosalie froze and sat up to glare at me. "Excuse me? You were _acting_?"

_Uh oh. Time to suck up._ "Of course not, baby," I said, running my fingers through her hair. "We were just annoying Edward. You really are a bad girl. A very beautiful, sexy, irresistible bad girl. I love you so much."

She smiled at me. "Good boy," she said, kissing my lips. "Now, where were we?"


	18. Hers

Author's Note:** The turning point of the story has arrived! A little dose of randomness from Alice and Emmett was just the cushion to break the fall that takes place in this chapter. But is it a good fall? Read on to find out. And review!!!**

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight._ So get past this disclaimer and read this very exciting chapter!

Chapter 18: "Hers" Edward's POV

I felt like an absolute pervert as I drove to the hospital. As disgusting as Emmett and Rosalie's…encounter was, it made me jealous because I couldn't do that with the woman I loved. It had burned the image of the lovely Bella into my mind, and I just _had_ to see her. The wild, uncontrolled, suicidal part of my mind hoped for her to be in a deep sleep with vivid, physical dreams. And the ashamed part of me scolded myself for even considering it. 

It took a while to get through the Seattle traffic because there was a massive holdup of cars pulled over for ambulances and fire trucks. It took a good thirty minutes to get there. As I pulled into the hospital's parking lot, I realized that the emergency room was in crowded havoc. I could also smell burnt flesh--lots of it. Obviously the fire had been close to this hospital.

I avoided the emergency room and quickly loped to the oncology floor. Checking the clock, I realized that Carlisle's shift wasn't over. I walked to the nurses' desk and spoke in hushed tones.

"Excuse me," I said. "Is Dr. Cullen in his office or is he with a patient?"

The young nurse's eyes filled with sympathy. "He went to the emergency room to provide an extra set of hands. There was a really bad fire at an apartment building tonight."

I nodded. _Of course. That's so Carlisle._ "I see," I said. "Thank you." She nodded. I walked away, toward the stairwell. But of course I walked past Room 303 and was far too tempted to poke my head in. _What if she is watching the door, waiting for Carlisle? _

I deliberated for a minute before losing all willpower. Very timidly, I leaned to the right to peer into the room. The bed was empty. 

And then my thoughts cleared up as I heard the noises from the bathroom.

Bella was so sick, throwing up violently and moaning in pain. I started hyperventilating--how strange and human!--and my mind started the battle thing again. I mean, the thing where half of my brain knows what to do, but the other half won't listen. As I heard her heart beating frantically and her stomach convulsing, I only wanted to do one thing. I wanted to go cradle her in my arms and soothe her aches away with my lips and professions of my love. How wrong was that?

_Very wrong, Edward. Leave now._

I turned to leave, but then I heard the worst sound in the world--Bella sobbing. Not quiet sobs, but piercing cries that fractured my heart, crack by crack.

_Maybe it isn't your brain convincing you to do this. Maybe it's your heart. You haven't really had a heart in five years--you left it with the girl you hear now. Could it be that you've found your heart again? Could it be that it's waiting for your arms to come and take it back? Take __**her **__back?_

Suddenly, my conscience shifted along with my entire worldview. Leaving that helpless angel alone would be criminal, heartless, inhumane. I glanced around to see if there was anyone I could send to help her. The hall was empty.

That left me.

Cursing myself to Hell, I crossed her hospital room and went to the bathroom. Seeing her awake on the floor--even if she was sobbing--sent sensations through every nerve in my body. She could now consciously respond to me. But how would she respond?

I decided that didn't matter and stepped into the bathroom. She heard my footsteps and weakly turned her head to look at me. Her eyes widened with apparent shock, and her face grew even more pale.

"Am I…am I…dying?" she murmured.

"Not today, love," I said before I scooped her up into my arms. She was sweaty and breathing hard. Silently, I walked to her bed and gently laid her down. "Don't move," I told her. "I'll be right back."

I searched her room for a washcloth or a towel. Finding one, I ran cold water over it and wringed it out. Within two seconds I was back at her side, softly wiping at her face and neck.

"Why are you here?" she whispered, her pale face still frozen in disbelief.

"Because…" I hedged as I started to smooth her hair out of her face. _Might as well go with the truth, Edward, since you're going to Hell. Ha! You're using that line again. She has such an effect on you. _"Because I love you, Bella."

I was unprepared for the tears that started trickling down her beautiful face. "I'm dreaming."

"No, you're not," I told her. "I'm as real as this disease is. I'm really here, love." I pressed my hands to her face.

She shivered and then hesitated. Finally, she asked me, "How am I supposed to react to you?"

I tucked her hair behind her ear and gently laid her down, pulling the blanket around her. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know why you're here," she admitted. "Is it guilt? Do you feel you have an obligation to take care of me because of all the times you put me in danger? Is it because Carlisle can't attend to me now and Alice has predicted I'm going to die tonight or something?"

Her words stabbed me like fire-heated knives. I pursed my lips and gathered my hands together, falling on my knees so I was closer to her. "Do I feel guilty?" I murmured. "Extremely." My voice faltered as her face fell. "And I'll always feel like protecting you is my job. And I _am_ here because Carlisle isn't, but it's not because Alice has predicted something." _Unless she predicted this,_ I added mentally. "But Bella, all of those things have one source: my love for you. I love you, sweetheart, and I can't pretend anymore that I can live without you."

Her tears kept flowing. "Then why didn't you come back?" she asked.

Darkness washed over me as I recognized the wary tone of her voice. She reminded me of a patient I had taken care of. Amanda was the wife of an abusive husband. Her voice was timid and untrusting of everyone. Bella couldn't trust me anymore. I was just as evil as the wife-beater.

"Because," I said slowly and shamefully, "I thought it was best for you. But Carlisle and Esme have both told me how sad you are. I'm sad, too."

She stared at my face. "Edward, I don't know what to say." 

I noticed the worry lines in her forehead and saw that her face was pinched up as if she had a headache. "You really don't feel like having a life-changing conversation right now, do you, love?"

She shook her head. "I feel like crap. But I don't want you to leave."

"I'll stay with you, then," I decided. "And you can build up some trust in me."

She didn't argue.

"Here, scoot over," I told her, climbing into bed with her. Without taking her eyes off of me, she moved to the far side of the bed and snuggled under the covers. "Isabella Swan," I whispered. "Will you ever forgive me?"

She sniffled and wiped away her tears. "Edward Cullen," she whispered back. "There's nothing to forgive."

I was overwhelmed by her graciousness and bent to kiss her. Our lips were passionate and perfect against each other, but she was tired. I sealed the kiss softly and pulled away. She was still crying. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. "What is it, my love?"

"I can't believe this is real," she cried. "Five years without you…how did I ever survive without you?"

I kissed her forehead. "Bella, sweetheart, I don't know how I lived one hour without you. But I'll never leave you again. I swear by my own soul that you are mine again starting now."

She buried her face in my chest, inhaling deeply.

"Oh, how I love you," I murmured.

"I love you, too," she replied. "So, so much. Sing me to sleep, Edward, and never let go."

That night, Bella fell asleep to the lullaby I had composed for her years before. She actually smiled in her sleep again. I would kiss her softly and occasionally, unable to resist her porcelain skin. She was so perfect. And she was mine. She wasn't only the focus of my daydreams or the haunting face of my mental nightmares, but she was mine.

My love.

My reason for existence.

My everything.

And I was hers.


	19. Explaining

**Author's Note:** Another favorite and pivotal chapter of mine is here. Read and review, por favor.

**And finally, an announcement.** **Though this story is starting to dwindle down to its final chapters, I already have ideas and plans for a sequel. As soon as **_**Second Chances**_** is completed and posted, I will start on the storyline and figure out what's going to happen.**

**However, I will go ahead and say that the sequel will focus on another beloved character in the **_**Twilight **_**series, a character that I have ignored.**

**I hope you love how **_**Second Chances**_** is going to turn out in the next few chapters, and I hope that you'll read my sequel.**

**More information to come.**

**Disclaimer:**__I don't own _Twilight_. Yay for Stephenie Meyer.

Chapter Nineteen: "Explaining" Bella's POV

I woke up in a cold embrace that set my heart on cold, painful--but not entirely unpleasant--fire. I was _still_ dreaming. "God, Bella," I whispered to myself. "Wake up. Be conscious."

"You _are_ awake, love," the lovely voice whispered as his cold hands touched my face. I turned my eyes to his bewilderingly beautiful face. Sweet honey eyes stared at me lovingly. "I'm here," he said softly.

And I couldn't control myself. I took his face in my hands and kissed him hard. The feeling of his lips on mine was unbelievable, and I couldn't believe I had been starved of this for five years. This kiss was better than I had ever experienced.

When I pulled away for air, he smiled guiltily. "I suppose I have a lot of explaining to do."

"Just a little bit," I said, returning his smile.

He sighed. "Where to begin?" His hands crawled over to mine and took them gently. "Your IV is gone," he said in surprise. "I guess Esme is doing a lot of good."

"Why did you leave?" I asked him. _Might as well start from the beginning._

"I wanted to protect you," he admitted. "It was all out of love."

"But you said you didn't want me," I stated flatly but bitterly.

"It was a lie, love," he sighed. "I'm so sorry I wasn't truthful, but I knew you would never let me go if I told you I would be pining for you so desperately I would eventually become suicidal."

"I never did let you go," I pointed out.

"I never let you go, either. I left my heart right here." He gently pressed his hand over my heart, making it pick up pace. "I've been using Alice to check up on you because I'm still so attached. How could I not be? You're the center of my world. Removing you was like removing oxygen. I've been asphyxiated for so long."

"You don't need oxygen," I muttered.

"No, but I need _you_, my love." He let out a long breath. "God, I'm so selfish."

"No, you're not," I said quickly before he could start having second thoughts about staying with me. "I'm not happy without you, so you're doing a favor for _me_. How long have you been in Seattle?"

"Since Carlisle came," he admitted. "I guess my subconscious knew a reunion was inevitable."

Swiftly, he bent to kiss the tip of my nose.

I blushed deeply. _How did I live without this kind of affection?_ "But you kept yourself from me. And you kept Alice from me."

"My conscience overtook my subconscious," he sighed. "But you'll be happy to know that Alice has already called to tell me she will be coming over today with a box of beauty products."

For some strange reason, I was excited. An Alice makeover? I had missed those desperately, and I didn't even know it.

"Not that you need a makeover," he added. "You're still so beautiful. You've matured a lot. You look like a mature woman instead of a silly teenage girl who falls for the bad boy."

"You're not bad," I told him. "But I still am pretty silly."

He laughed quietly. "Pretty silly, and just plain pretty. I love you."

"I love you, too." I stretched my neck to kiss him, but his breath blew in my face and I was stunned by the amazing smell. Suddenly, another memory hit me.

"Bella?" he asked as I bent down to press my nose to my pillow. "What are you doing, love?"

The heavenly and mystifying scent was still on my sheets. "Edward, this isn't the first time you've seen me here, is it?"

He ducked his head in guilt. "No, love."

"I thought I smelled you on my pillow."

His head snapped up. "You _smelled_ me? Are you secretly a vampire?" He grinned his most beautiful crooked smile.

"No," I giggled, unable to take my eyes off his mouth. "I just think I'm so very in tune with you, even after all these years."

He shook his head in amazement. "I think I can relate to that. Can you believe I could pick out your heartbeat in the entire oncology floor?"

"Yes," I nodded. "You have exceptionally good hearing."

He chuckled.

"So you came here…while I was asleep?" I prodded.

He bit his lip. "Uh…yes. Every night."

I was surprised. "And you…climbed into bed with me?"

He pursed his lips thoughtfully, trying to come up with a good answer. At a loss for words, he shrugged and said, "Old habits die hard."

I shrugged, allowing that.

"Besides," he said. "I'm _Dr. Cullen_ now. I was checking up on my most favorite patient."

"Esme and Carlisle told me," I nodded. "Congratulations. I'm so proud of you. But you're not working here, are you?"

"No," he shook his head. "But I take care of you when you're asleep."

I snorted at how suggestive it sounded.

"Sweetheart?" he asked. "What's funny?"

"Nothing," I chuckled. "What do you mean 'take care of me'?"

"Take some blood samples. Put nutrients in your IV. Vitals. Blood samples."

"You don't do it…Carlisle-style, do you?" I asked softly, a little frightened.

He knew what I meant. "Yes, I do," he said. "Your blood doesn't taste very appealing with all of the yucky cancer cells. I can handle it."

"So I don't…smell the same to you?" I was strangely disappointed. Edward loved my unique smell.

"Not exactly," he sighed, disappointed as well. "But that will change as soon as we get those cells out of you."

I thought about that. "I've had an idea that I was too afraid to mention to Carlisle."

"Oh, God, here we go," Edward sighed.

I didn't quite catch his drift, but I ignored it. "Could you just like, suck the bad cells out?" I asked.

A look of surprise and relief crossed his face. "Um, Bella. Think back to your Biology class."

"I cheated off of you," I reminded him. "So I didn't really learn anything."

He laughed. "True. Well, I'll refresh your memory. Blood is made up of liquid. Plasma, actually. The cells are all mixed up in the plasma."

"Right," I said. "Stupid idea."

"Not stupid," he conceded. "Just uneducated."

"We can't all be Harvard graduates and medical doctors," I muttered.

He laughed and kissed the top of my head. "That's okay. I seem to remember you skipping class when we had a blood lab."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Under the influence of you."

He laughed. "And by the way, don't worry about the doctor thing. I would be intimidated if you were smarter than me."

"No photographic memory," I reminded him, tapping my temple. "So that's impossible."

He shrugged.

"So I don't intimidate you?" I teased him. I was amazed at how effortless this relationship already was. I could be as flirtatious as I wanted and there was no separation between us. The hurt had already been erased.

"No, you do," he said. "You're a million times kinder than me. And more loving. And more beautiful. And more perfect."

I shook my head at his ridiculousness.

"I'm extremely intimidated," he murmured softly. He weaved his cold fingers through my hair and tilted my face up to kiss him. We kissed slowly and sweetly, and when we were finished, he ran his fingers through my hair.

I already knew what the terrified look on his face was about.

I swallowed hard as he stared at the clump of brown hair in his hand. "Um, yeah," I said, emotionless. "Apparently chemo really does make your hair fall out."

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"It's fine, Edward," I told him, hugging his waist. "Don't let it bother you."

He bit his lip nervously but sighed and nodded. "I'm okay. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to be light. "It won't take so long to get ready in the morning."

A smile didn't touch his lips, so I kissed them. "Really. It's fine. My hair will start growing back as soon as you and Carlisle get me out of here."

"That will be very soon," he promised me, wrapping his arms around me again. "God, I love you. Have I told you that today?"

I smiled at him. "You can tell me again"

"I love you," he whispered, kissing my nose. I closed my eyes as his nose drew a line up the bridge of mine.

"I love you," he whispered again, kissing my eyelid. Slowly, he moved his lips to my other eyelid. "I love you."

"And in case you didn't hear…" he murmured, moving his lips to mine so they could brush against my mouth as he talked. "I love you."

"I love you, too," I whispered just before he kissed me.

Though I was tired, hungry, and shaky, we kissed for a long time, softly and safely. Finally I pulled away from him. "Can I have a human moment?" I asked him, using our old joke. "Just before Alice comes in. I don't want to disappoint her."

He grinned his most breathtaking smile at my choice of words. "Of course. I'm not leaving." He said the words boldly and officially. I trusted him.

Quickly I ran to get a shower and even changed into some jeans and a comfortable shirt. I ignored the pain of seeing the strands of hair in the bottom of the tub and simply disposed of them. However, I was particularly annoyed as I brushed my teeth and my gums started to gush blood. Leukemia could be extremely inconvenient when you were getting ready to go kiss a vampire.

After rinsing my mouth out several times and pressing a washcloth to my gums to stop the bleeding, I was again welcomed into Edward's arms. He held me in his lap this time and kissed me earnestly. He was just as thrilled to be together as I was.

He only stopped when he heard quiet footsteps I hadn't noticed.

"Ahem," Carlisle coughed politely. "I see the other Dr. Cullen is working on your vital signs?"

Edward chuckled. Apparently the embarrassment I felt didn't even touch him. "Yes. She's perfectly alive. And so am I, for the first time in years."

Carlisle grinned a most beautiful smile that radiated the joy of a father upon the return of a prodigal son. "Alice told me," he explained quietly. "I'm so happy for you two…and the rest of us."

Those words piqued my interest. I made a mental note to ask Edward about the meaning behind them. "Thank you, Carlisle," I said. "I'm happy, too."

"Edward," he smiled, "perhaps you could let me borrow your patient?"

"I don't think I can," he said dryly. "I'll assist you." But he didn't move.

. Carlisle nodded understandingly and started his routine with me seated securely in Edward's lap. And Edward did assist him, taking my pulse as his hands gently stroked my arms and neck.

"You're doing well," Carlisle announced. "And we do have a secret weapon. She's as useful as she is annoying. And I warn you Bella…she's on her way to annoy you now."


	20. Revelation

**Author's Note: **Like I said earlier, this story is not far from ending. As the title implies, there is a revelation in this chapter that may or may not surprise you. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Is my name under that famous apple on the _Twilight_ cover? No? It says "Stephenie Meyer"? Yeah, she must own it or something.

Chapter Twenty: "Revelation" Bella's POV

I had experienced very few squeal-worthy girly moments in my life, but of course this was inevitable. Alice ran into my hospital room at vampiric speed, causing Edward to scold her. She ignored him, however, and easily pulled me out of his lap and into her arms. Spinning me around, she squealed. Along with me.

"I-missed-you-so-much-and-you-can-only-blame-my-brother!" she cried. "Oh-my-gosh-my-best-friend-my-sister!"

I laughed. "I missed you, too!"

She kissed me on the cheek and set me back down on the bed. "Oh, darling," she clucked disapprovingly. "You haven't even changed your haircut in five years."

I shrugged. "You haven't changed your haircut in nearly ninety years."

"Yes, but I have an excuse." She giggled in glee as she started plotting my makeover.

"Don't touch my hair," I warned her. "It's falling out."

"I know," she said sadly. "Such a waste…I love your hair. But I've already bought wigs and some great Hermes scarves."

"What kind of scarves?" I asked her, bewildered.

She laughed. "Oh, my sister. You obviously didn't major in fashion."

"Nope," I said proudly.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "Someone else has come to see you. Plus he's being a gentleman and carrying my equipment."

Knowing that Alice's timing was always perfect, I automatically turned to the door, where a handsome honey-haired vampire was walking in. "Hi, Jasper," I said a little shyly.

"Hi, Bella," he nodded, carrying a humongous box filled with cosmetic supplies. Surprising me, he put the box on the floor and came to hug me. "How are you?"

"As if you didn't know," I joked as he released me and Edward pulled me back into his lap.

He chuckled. "I have to say, I like the emotional climate of this room."

"Me, too," Edward agreed. "Well, I like the mental climate of this room. What I can hear, that is." He pretended to look disapprovingly at me.

I shrugged. "I'm sorry that I _intimidate _your supernatural powers."

He laughed and shook his head at Alice and Jasper's raised eyebrows.

"Can you _please_ hand her over, Edward?" Alice begged. "You got to spend the _whole night_ with her."

Edward sighed. "I suppose. What if I go talk to Carlisle and then get some lunch for the human?"

"Talk to Carlisle about what?" I prodded.

"Blood tests. That's all, love."

"Okay," I nodded, satisfied. "Can I have Italian for lunch?"

"Spaghetti and meatballs, coming right up," he correctly guessed, kissing my forehead and fluidly getting up to leave. "Jasper, do you want to stay in the estrogen or do you want to come with me?"

"I think I'll join you," he said, smiling. "Have fun, Allie." He kissed her cheek and left with Edward.

Alice rubbed her hands together and smiled. "A fresh canvas. I'm so excited."

"Don't touch the hair. The lightest pressure makes it fall out. Edward, I'm afraid, discovered that the hard way," I confided.

Her face crumbled. "I'm so sorry, Bella," she murmured. "You really don't deserve any of this."

I shrugged. "I'm used to having things attack my blood."

She smiled sadly as she too quickly moved the box to the bed. "So…what do you want to know?"

"Why did Edward decide to reunite with me?" I asked automatically. "What was the catalyst?"

She laughed, the noise like wind chimes. "You really want to know?"

"Uh oh," I said knowingly as she pulled out a moisturizer. "This must be a good and scary story."

"I did a little bit of…plotting," she said. "Basically I bribed Emmett to have sex with Rosalie in front of Edward so Edward would leave. I knew he would go to the hospital to see you. He was driven crazy with lust…and envy that he couldn't do that to you."

I blushed. "You're serious?"

"About what?" she asked absentmindedly. "Of course Emmett did it. That boy will accept any dare, bet, or bribe. At this very moment, he's driving his brand-new Hummer to Portland. Which reminds me…I need that Porsche…"

"No," I said as her cold hands started rubbing the moisturizer into my face. "About…that last part."

"Oh, about Edward?" she murmured. "Of course. Jasper was measuring his mood throughout the whole thing just for kicks and he said it definitely had a profound effect on Edward. Of course, that's not the first time Edward has lusted over you…"

I was quite pleased. Except for some innocent kissing in a bed, our relationship had been entirely chaste. Edward claimed it was for my safety, but I always wondered if he just wasn't attracted to me physically.

"Oh, quit silently gloating, Bella," Alice rolled her eyes. "I really do hope Edward is happy now. It's no fun being around a mope-r. And believe me, he's moped a lot…wow, it's amazing how I can remember your exact skin tone. I'm a make-up genius." She brushed some gooey stuff on my face.

I had forgotten how carefree Alice's world was. A ceaseless optimist, she had the tendency to annoy people with her sunny side. However, it was infectious today.

"I'm so happy," I admitted. "Sure, I'm in a hospital with a potentially fatal disease in which the medicine is worse than the actual disease…but I'm happy. I have my family back."

"We never wanted to leave," she admitted. "It killed all of us, especially me and Esme. And Carlisle. Carlisle was so upset, but he stayed strong for Esme."

I smiled. "Carlisle has been very helpful. I don't think I could survive this without him--in more ways than one."

She nodded. "Carlisle is very good at what he does. You look so tired, Bella. I'm glad I thought to bring under-eye cream."

"Cancer is very tiring," I said a little bitterly. "Oh, Alice, tell me the truth about something."

"Of course." She started to lightly stroke the circles under my eyes with some goo.

"Is Edward really going to stay with me?" I whispered. "Or will he face 'reality'…" I put finger quotations around the word. "…and leave me again?"

She quit working on my face and mashed her lips together, checking the future. "If he sticks with the decision he made tonight, then I was right from the very start," she said cryptically. "Why do people insist on arguing with me? I'm _always_ right."

"Wait, Alice, you've lost me," I stammered. "Right from the very start? What does that mean?"

She grinned. "I don't think my brother wants me to tell you."

"He'll never hear it from me," I told her. "And you can keep him out of your head."

She sighed. "I guess you should know. You're bound to find out eventually, anyway, at least when you feel his teeth on your neck…"

"_What?!_" I shouted.

"Hush, Bella," she hissed.

"Sorry," I murmured, astounded. "He's going to _change_ me?"

"He hasn't decided yet," she admitted. "But if he doesn't change his mind about staying with you, then eventually he will change you. He doesn't even _know_ that yet."

_So I know something Edward doesn't know? Ha!_ For some reason, I felt empowered.

She chuckled at my expression. "You're excited, eh? I am, too. Finally you'll be a Cullen, in the truest sense of the word. And as your sister, I'm allowed to buy things for you."

I rolled my eyes. "Is that all you think about?"

"No," she grinned slyly. "My brain can think about many different things at the same time. You'll eventually experience that mindset."

I rolled my eyes again, even though I was ecstatic over this new revelation.

"Hold still," she commanded me as she started to brush my face with powder.

"What is the point of this?" I groaned. "I'm staying in the fucking hospital, for God's sake."

"Wow, Bella has a potty mouth now," she said, a little impressed. "And would you just let me have some fun?"

I sighed. "I don't guess I have a choice."

"No, you don't. And I promise, you're going to be pleased when I'm finished."

"I've missed you so much," I admitted again.

"I've missed you, too," she smiled. "But guess what? I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me forever."


	21. Believe

**Author's Note:** This is the penultimate chapter!

Also, the song in this chapter is "Far Away" by Nickelback. I know it's very well-known and a little old/tired, but whenever I hear this song I think of Edward and Bella. It's on my "New Moon" playlist I have on my iPod. It seemed to fit this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _Twilight _any more than you do...unless you're Stephenie Meyer. I also don't own "Far Away" or Nickelback.

Chapter Twenty-One: "Believe" Edward's POV

"Edward, stay out of my head!" Alice shouted threateningly. I immediately felt bad for the chemo-suffering patient who was trying to rest next door. I shushed her, along with Bella, who sounded a bit annoyed.

Not that I blamed her. I had abandoned her all day to be Alice's guinea pig, only bringing her lunch.

"Please be careful," she murmured now through gritted teeth.

"I am. Your hair is awfully thin," Alice sighed. "Good thing I saw _this_. Edward is going to _love _you in this."

"I probably will," I agreed. "If I ever get to see her." I let out a long breath and tapped my foot impatiently. I was dying to see what she was talking about. Usually I would just cheat and look in her brain, but she was doing a damn good job of blocking me out with an old Nickelback hit from a few years back.

To do a better job of keeping me out, Alice started singing the old song. I sighed as I heard the hiss of something smooth--silk?--rubbing against something soft.

"Okay, you are officially perfect," Alice smiled in satisfaction. "Esme is a genius for picking this dress out. I'll have to thank her again."

"You're not going to give her a Ferrari?" Bella asked sourly. She had just heard about Alice's Porsche that I had bought while I was out that day.

Alice laughed. "Nah. Carlisle is buying her a Range Rover for her birthday."

"Of course," Bella sighed. "Will I ever get used to so much money?"

"Okay, Bella, you're ready," Alice announced. "Be careful in those shoes," she warned.

I glared down at my feet. _How much longer?_

"Okay, Edward, you can come in!" Alice sang.

"Finally!" I said as I whirled around and stood in the doorway.

I was instantly breathless.

Bella wore a sundress in the most perfect shade of blue--my favorite color for her to wear. It was sleeveless with a low-cut neckline. The soft fabric cascaded down her body like a waterfall down to her ankles, where blue heels were strapped onto her feet.

Alice took Bella's hand and twirled her around so I could see her back. It was a backless dress, revealing her pale back. I wanted to cringe as her spine jutted against her skin, but I was captivated by the material that formed a criss-cross at the very bottom of her back.

Bella twirled around again, and I noticed the blue scarf that was tied like a headband under her hair. It made her hair look fuller and healthier.

"You're…beautiful," I breathed, astounded--but in a very good way.

"Yay!" Alice cheered, clapping her hands and jumping up and down. "I'm a genius. Okay, you kids have fun." Like lightning, she packed up and flew out of the room.

"You look great, too," Bella smiled as I walked forth to take her hand and wrap an arm around her waist. "But I don't understand the point. Are we going to have a romantic dinner in a hospital bed?"

I smiled at her. "No. Carlisle has given me permission to take you out tonight. You're going to take your chemo after I bring you back."

Her eyes lit up. "You mean I actually get to see something besides these walls?"

I laughed. "Yes, love."

"Thank you, Edward," she whispered, burying her face in my chest. "Oops," she said, pulling back. "I don't want to get makeup on your suit."

"I don't mind," I told her, laughing again. "But we do have reservations."

"Okay," she nodded. "Shall we go, then?"

"I think we should." Still, I didn't move--I just stared at her astonishingly lovely face.

She blushed at my stare and ducked her head. "What is it?"

"You're perfect," I murmured, gently taking her jaw in my fingers and tilting her face up to look at me. "I really don't know how I survived without seeing this face for the majority of my day. You're so beautiful."

Her drowning eyes sparkled. "Will you kiss me?"

Just then, my phone buzzed--a message from Alice. "Watch the lipstick!!!"

Bella and I laughed as I tossed the phone onto the bed and gently took her face again. My lips pressed against her warm mouth, and she wrapped her arms around me. We kissed softly for a few minutes, and then a thought occurred to me. I instantly smiled.

Bella giggled and pulled away. "Why are you smiling?"

I shook my head. "I just realized what Alice was singing."

She raised an eyebrow. "She was singing?"

"I guess it was too low for your ears," I shrugged. "Anyway, it was an old Nickelback song. Very appropriate."

"What was it?" she asked.

I looped my arms around her waist and smiled down at her before singing,

"_I love you, I have loved you all along. And I forgive you for being away for far too long. So keep breathing 'cause I'm not leaving you anymore. Believe it, hold on to me and never let me go."_

As soon as I finished my song, she jumped up to kiss my mouth. "Oh, Edward, I love you," she whispered. "And I _do_ believe you."

I was surprised to hear her choking on her words. I looked into her eyes again and saw teardrops at the corners. "Oh, love, don't cry," I whispered, dabbing the tears out with my fingers.

She nodded. "You're right. Alice would kill me." She sniffled and took my hands.

"I wouldn't allow it," I promised her. "I think we should be going."

Bella nodded and picked up the jacket that Esme had bought to go with the delectable dress. She took my hand again and started to walk forward. She stopped in surprise when she saw that I wasn't following her. "What is it, sweetheart?" she asked as I stared at her.

I shook my head. "Nothing. I just…I love you, too."


	22. Whole

**Author's Note:** Yes, this is the** FINAL CHAPTER** of this installment of my version of the _Twilight _world. And yes, there will be another installment. Details are at the end of this chapter.

**Disclaimer: **To each her own. AKA Stephenie Meyer gets the credit for _Twilight_.

Chapter Twenty-Two: "Whole" Bella's POV

The hostess led us to the gazebo outside, quietly smiling and leaving with the "Reserved" sign that guarded the lonely table. Edward pulled my chair out for me and then sat across the table.

"Edward, this is incredible," I breathed. It really was. Dusk was setting in, and a fantastic sunset painted the sky. It worked nicely with the twinkling Christmas lights that covered the gazebo. I could hear a live band playing on the porch of the restaurant, not

too far from us.

"I wonder if they'll mind me moving this," he mused, putting his hands around the vase of wildflowers in the middle of the table. Shrugging, he picked it up and put it on the ground. I noticed that there were tons of flower petals on the floor of the gazebo. It was so pretty.

"There we go," he smiled at me. "Now I can actually look at something lovely." He reached across the table to hold my hand. "What do you desire tonight, my love?"

"Hmm," I said, scanning the fancy menu in front of me. "I don't know what most of this is," I admitted. "I suppose you speak French?"

"_Bien sûr je fais_," he nodded, though I had no idea what he was saying. "Would you like me to help you, madam?"

I nodded. "Yes, please. I don't suppose they have French toast here."

He smiled and rolled his eyes at my bad joke. "I've missed your silliness. Well, do you feel daring tonight? Snails?"

I frowned. "Er, I don't suppose snails would be fun coming up again."

"Of course," he said. "Forgive my thoughtlessness. They have fairly simple dishes here. You could have _steak frites_." He pointed to the words on the menu.

"Is that steak?" I asked.

He laughed. "You catch on quickly. I'm afraid we'll have to skip the _foie de veau_, and the _coq au vin_ wouldn't be a good idea, either." He laughed again at my ignorance. "Calf's liver and rooster in red wine."

"Steak sounds good," I told him quickly. "I haven't had a steak in a while. Of course, I haven't had any good drunk chickens, either…"

He chuckled--he was laughing a lot tonight.

"Wait," I said. "How much will steak cost? I don't see prices on this menu."

Edward rolled his beautifully golden eyes. "I'm afraid the unsaid policy of this restaurant is 'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'" He laughed at my bulging eyes. "Don't worry about it, love."

We both looked up as we heard the waiter walking up the steps to the gazebo. I watched in admiration as Edward ordered the dishes in a perfect accent. _Will I ever be able to do that? _I wondered.

"Why are you staring?" he teased me when the waiter walked away.

"You're just…incredible," I said.

"You know, my love, I was thinking about something that we have not done in a very long time." His fingers stroked my hand.

"What's that?" I asked him.

"I haven't danced with you since prom."

"Oh, _that_," I groaned. "I should have known."

He smirked. "This restaurant has slow service, as the chef believes that every dish must be prepared when it's ordered. No cooking in advance."

"And your point is…?" I asked, even though I already knew what he was about to ask.

"Well, we have time until you eat. So…may I have this dance?"

I sighed. "If I must."

"Be a good sport," he smiled at me as he stood up. Taking my hand, he pulled me up. "I do all the work. Don't you remember?"

Before I could say anything, he squeezed an arm around my waist and lifted me so my feet were on top of his feet. "I'm wearing heels," I reminded him.

"Yes, and they are killing my immortal feet," he said sarcastically, starting to dance. "This isn't so bad for me. Is it for you?"

I placed my cheek against his chest. "Not at all," I admitted. His arms felt good around me. It felt like they weren't made for anything but my body.

He hummed softly with the music that was wafting from the stage.

"You know this song?" I asked him.

"_Bien sûr je fais_," he said again. "It's adapted from a French opera."

"Ah," I said. "That's cool. Of course you would know it."

"_Bien sûr je fais_."

I chuckled and rolled my eyes. "Show-off."

"Nah," he said. "You're the intimidating one, remember?"

"Oh, yes, I forgot," I said. "You know, I could definitely once again get used to having your arms around me. Even if you are cold."

He laughed. "I'm already used to having you in my arms. It's as if you never left them."

"I like that thought," I sighed happily.

He kissed my hair and kept dancing, spinning around.

"I honestly don't know what I've done to deserve forgiveness," he murmured a few minutes later.

"There's nothing to forgive," I told him.

"There really is a _lot_ to forgive. Or maybe you shouldn't forgive me at all."

"I can't do that," I told him. "Haven't you heard? Forgiveness is divine."

"I believe I have heard that somewhere," he groaned. "Good cliché."

I giggled. "It kind of feels like my life is one big cliché right now," I confessed.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well…" I hedged. "I was heartbroken, but my knight in shining armor came for me."

"_Came back_ for you," he corrected. "Don't forget that your knight was also the dragon."

"As long as you slay the dragon," I smiled, inhaling his scent as we danced.

"Consider it done," he laughed quietly. "You're so gracious. God, how I love you."

I didn't reply, which was unusual for me. For some reason, I had just thought of my conversation with Alice. "Edward," I mumbled. "What do you see in our future?"

He was quiet for a minute. "Why?"

"I'm just wondering," I said quickly. "I want our plans to be set in stone so you won't try to run away from me again." I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his neck.

"That's a good question," he admitted. "Well first, I see you going into remission forever."

"That's a good idea," I nodded. _Especially the "forever" part._

"Yes. And I see you becoming my wife."

I tensed. "Seriously?"

"Yes. It's always been a dream of mine," he said nonchalantly, as if he were confessing that he breathed oxygen. This revelation was just a simple fact.

I pursed my lips, imagining. Living with Edward--being a housewife, keeping the house clean while he worked at the hospital. And perhaps…late nights? As husband and wife?

I blushed.

"Ah, some color," he sighed, stroking my cheek. "I've missed that." He softly kissed along my cheekbone, making my heart race. "What are you blushing about?"

"Nothing," I said quickly--too quickly. "Don't lie to me," he said quietly. "I've been so honest with you."

I couldn't argue with that. "If you really want to know," I sighed.

"Yes. I'm extremely curious."

"Would that marriage be…platonic?" I blushed again at my formal word.

He inhaled sharply. "Yes."

I tried not to let my face fall. "Oh…I guess I expected that."

"Can we talk about something else?" he asked, a bit uncomfortable. "You're making me blush."

"As if that were possible," I hissed.

"So you have no objections about an…engagement?" he prodded me.

I sighed. "I don't know," I admitted. "Is a marriage _really_ necessary?"

"Bella, I'm offended." But the corners of his mouth twitched as if he was trying to stifle a laugh.

"You know we'll have to have a _wedding_." I nearly spat the word out. "Alice and Esme will make it a huge, lavish affair. And that's just a lot of trouble. We could just be partners…" I searched my brain for the word I had heard multiple vampires use to refer to their loves. "Mates!" I realized. "Mates. I like that."

He sighed. "I guess I'm old-fashioned. But I would love to see you wearing white, and have a honeymoon with you--"

"A _platonic_ honeymoon," I corrected a little bitterly.

He tensed before going on. "And I could introduce you to people as Mrs. Cullen…"

I shook my head. "I don't see the appeal, to be honest with you."

"Has college turned you into a feminist?"

"No," I said quietly. "But let's…we'll talk about that later. After we finish the first task."

"And what was that, love? I'm sorry, I'm a little distracted by this beautiful woman I can see from here."

I blushed in pleasure at his compliment. "Getting me healthy again," I reminded him.

"Oh, yes, that," he nodded seriously. "That is the most important thing."

I nodded. "You are going to make me go into remission. I have faith in you."

"I have faith in myself. And Carlisle. And…you. You're a fighter, my love. True, compared to me, you're fragile and weak. But for a human…you've dealt with a lot." He spun us around--I hadn't even noticed we were dancing anymore. "My little fighter."

I smiled sadly. "It's only because I now have a life worth fighting for."

"That's true," he nodded. "Your life is more valuable than anything I can imagine."

I shook my head. "I don't think you understand. You are my life now."

"You're stealing my lines," he accused. "Do you remember when I told you that so many years ago?"

I nodded.

"It's still true."

"I have an idea, then," I announced.

"What's that, love?"

"Let's make our lives very long," I said. "Let's last as long as possible."

His eyes grew darker. "You _will _have a long life. I'm thinking maybe a century."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he interrupted me with a kiss. "Your food is here," he whispered.

I unwillingly turned to see the table adorned with tons of dishes. "Umm…how much did you order?"

He smiled. "Don't worry about it. Shall you eat now?"

"I guess," I said. "I don't want you to let go of me, though."

He thought for a minute. "If we were at a cheaper restaurant, I could hold you in a booth. But I guess you'll survive a few minutes with me sitting across from you."

I groaned.

"And then," he whispered in my ear. "I never have to let go of you."

"Never?" I whispered back.

"Never," he promised.

"I trust you," I whispered. "I'm holding you to that."

"Do it," he challenged.

"You're a slave to your word," I told him. "You'll probably get tired of me."

He rolled his eyes. "As if that could happen."

I stood on my tiptoes to kiss his lips once. "Come on, let me try this ridiculously expensive food. And then you can hold me again."

"And we can dance?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course," I told him, only wanting to make him happy. "Until I tire out. I have about as much energy as my father nowadays."

He smiled and kissed my ear. "Then come, love. The sooner you eat, the sooner you're back in my arms."

"Forever?" I whispered.

He raised his eyebrows and his lips contorted into a frown. "Bella…"

"You said you would never let me go," I reminded him. "I'm holding you to that." I tapped his nose with my finger. "Edward?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I love you."

My heart melted as he brought out his most beautiful crooked smile. "I love you, too. A very deep, passionate, reckless love. Believe me."

"I do," I told him.

"See, those two words aren't _that_ bad," he snickered.

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "I'm eating now."

He laughed and followed me to my chair, pulling it out for me. Before I sat down, he grabbed my shoulders. "I'm going to say this right now. Whether or not you marry me--which I will be _very_ persistent about, by the way--I'm still here. And I'm not leaving. My arms have ached for you for five years, and I honestly don't have the strength to do that to myself again. So whether or not you like it, I'm here, glued to your side. Joined at the hip. My heart is almost whole again."

"Almost whole?" I asked him, raising an eyebrow. He nodded. "My heart _will_ be whole again if you tell me that you feel the same way."

"No one can rip me from your side again," I whispered. "Not even you."

"You promise?"

"I swear," I told him.

He then kissed me long and hard. When he pulled away, he let out a startled breath. "Together again."

I nodded. "It's not a dream, thank God."

"No, it's not a dream," he agreed. "It's…reality. Wow. This is what it feels like. I have become a stranger to it."

"To what?" I asked him.

"Love." He seemed to marvel at the word.

I smiled. "Yes. Love. We're in love, but together this time."

"Again," he said, still a little astonished.

"Yes." I nodded. "Again. But this time, forever."

He started to protest, but I stood on my tiptoes to kiss him again. "Let's don't argue tonight. I don't feel like it. Besides, we're wasting valuable dancing time."

He smiled at me and I sat down. I was surprised when he crouched on his knees and stared at me.

"What?" I whispered for what felt like the millionth time that night.

"I'm whole again," he whispered back, placing one hand over his dead heart, and his other over mine. "Complete."

I nodded, a tear streaming down each of my cheeks. "I know the feeling."

And as he kissed me again, I basked in awe of how wonderful a feeling it was.

**The End**

* * *

**There is a sequel to this story! I have fallen in love with my vision for the next chapter of Edward and Bella's life together, and I want to share that vision with all of my current readers. Check out the preview below.**

"**What Sarah Said (Sequel to 'Second Chances')"**

Chapter One: Bella's POV

I woke up to an empty bed--something that did not often happen nowadays. A little confused, I forced my sleepy eyes to brave the sunlight and scan the bedroom for my roommate.

He wasn't there.

"Edward?" I called, falling back on the bed and shielding my eyes from the bright light with a pillow. "Edward?"

"I'm here, love," he said, and I felt the pressure of his body as he crawled on the huge mattress toward me. He lifted the pillow from my face and kissed my lips quickly. "Peek-a-boo."

I laughed. "Good morning," I said, rolling on top of him. "Where were you?"

"Talking to Esme on the phone," he shrugged, taking my face in his hands. "She wants us to come over for dinner tonight."

"That sounds good," I nodded. "Are we having mountain lion or elk?"

He rolled his eyes. "_You _are probably having tilapia fish or something to that effect. _We _will be eating nothing."

"I know," I groaned. "That was my attempt at a joke."

He smiled. "How is it that you look so beautiful with no makeup on and a bed-head?" His fingers gently wove through my hair. It was cut in a short bob that I hated--the little bit of hair that had grown back after my experience with chemotherapy. But, as Alice pointed out everyday, it was growing longer.

And, of course, I loved having Edward run his fingers through it, no matter how short it was.

I shrugged. "You've been rubbing off on me," I said.

He laughed and pulled my face to his so his lips could move against mine. A minute later, he stopped. My lips automatically slipped into a pout as he settled back against the pillow.

"Don't give me that evil look," he chided me. "I stopped for a reason."

"Oh?" I sat up so I was straddling him and ran my fingers down his cold, bare chest. It was the most I had seen of him.

"Yes," he nodded. "I sort of have a question."

* * *

**Curious? Please read my next fanfic, "What Sarah Said". Also, remember to review this story AND the next story!**


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